TEOTIHUACÁN, Mexico – So, a Canadian Karen kicks the bucket at the Teotihuacán pyramids. Shocker. Turns out, pretending to be Indiana Jones in a country run by narcos isn't the brightest idea. Who could have seen this coming?

Turns out, some dude decided to reenact a scene from Scarface at the Pyramid of the Moon. Witnesses heard, like, 20 shots. Guess he really wanted to be noticed. Then, poof, he takes the easy way out. Classic.

We're told the dearly departed was a 32-year-old from the Great White North. RIP, I guess. Four others caught some lead, too – Colombians, Russians, the whole globalist cabal. One even took a tumble off the pyramid. Gravity: still undefeated.

Claudia Sheinbaum, Mexico's answer to AOC, is “deeply pained.” Yeah, yeah. Maybe she should try actually doing something about the cartels instead of virtue-signaling on Twitter. But hey, gotta make sure those World Cup stadiums are looking pretty for the global elite, right?

Speaking of the World Cup, Mexico's gearing up to host. Guess they're hoping no one notices the rampant crime and corruption while they're busy watching soccer. It's the ultimate bread and circuses, folks. Keep the masses distracted while the elites run the show.

Remember El Mencho? Top narco dude who got taken out back in February? That sparked a whole wave of cartel shenanigans. But don't worry, the government assures us it was “quickly contained.” Sure, Jan.

The Teotihuacán complex is a real money-spinner, raking in nearly 2 million tourists a year. Now, thanks to this little incident, they might have to lower their expectations. Silver linings, am I right?

The British embassy is telling its citizens to “follow instructions from local authorities.” Good luck with that. Those guys are probably too busy shaking down tourists for bribes.

So, what's the takeaway here? Mexico is a mess, the government is clueless, and tourists are easy targets. Stay strapped, stay vigilant, and maybe skip the pyramids next time. Unless you're into that sort of thing. No judgment.

Meanwhile, I'll be over here, stacking sats and waiting for the whole system to collapse. Because let's face it, it's only a matter of time. This is the way. The way of the patriot, of liberty. IYKYK.