Tremonton, Utah – Well, folks, they did it again. The Box Elder County Commission, probably bribed with Bitcoin and virtue-signaling promises, just rubber-stamped a datacenter bigger than Manhattan on May 4, 2026. Because what Utah really needs is more woke tech giants sucking up our resources while lecturing us about climate change.

This monstrosity, dubbed the Stratos AI datacenter, will sprawl across 40,000 acres. That's right, acres. And it's gonna guzzle 9 gigawatts of power, more than the entire state currently uses. Gotta keep those servers cool while they're busy censoring conservatives and pushing the latest pronoun update, right?

And let's not forget about the water. Utah's already drier than Ben Shapiro's humor, but no worries, this datacenter will just Hoover up the Great Salt Lake until it's a giant dust bowl. Environmentalists are freaking out? Good. Maybe they should've spent less time gluing themselves to roads and more time figuring out how to stop this madness. But hey, at least the migratory birds will have a nice, dry place to land…if they can breathe the toxic dust.

Kevin O'Leary, that shark-tanking globalist shill, is behind this whole thing. He claims it'll create thousands of jobs, but let's be real, those jobs will probably be filled by robots and H1B visa holders. He also spouts some nonsense about competing with China, as if giving our resources to Big Tech is somehow going to make America great again. More like make China's data faster, amirite?

Some 'impact analysis' claims this thing will increase Utah's planet-heating pollution by 50%. But who cares about the planet when there's profit to be made? And Rob Davies, some commie physics professor, says the waste heat will turn Hansel valley into a desert. Sounds about right. Prepare for dust storms, heatstroke, and maybe even a Mad Max-style water war. It's the future, baby!

But hey, at least Kevin O'Leary is on X, assuring us he's 'not gonna drain the Great Salt Lake.' Because billionaires never lie, right? They’re just benevolent overlords looking out for our best interests. Wake up, sheeple! This datacenter is a Trojan horse filled with wokeness, globalism, and the slow death of the American West.

They tell you it’s about innovation and progress. We’re here to tell you it’s about power and control. They’re not just building datacenters, they’re building a digital panopticon, and we’re all gonna be living in it whether we like it or not.