Alright, folks, let's cut the crap. It's summer, it's hot, and your electric bill is about to look like a ransom demand. Surprise! These parasites always find a way to pick your pockets. Mark Wolfe from NEADA (Never Ending Assistance Demands Association) says, "Families need to use more of an increasingly expensive product to stay cool this summer. And that's going to be tough." No sh*t, Sherlock. Thanks for the profound insight.

NEADA, those geniuses, are projecting an 8.5% increase in electric bills. But let's be real, that's just the official number. Expect it to be way higher. The cost per kilowatt-hour has jumped 39% in the last five years! That's what happens when you let virtue-signaling greeniacs run the energy sector.

Meet Robin Westphal, stuck in Texas – where the heat is weaponized – sweating her arse off. Her AC bill is already $300 a month. "We might not be able to spend as much at the grocery store," she says. Welcome to the new normal, sister. Hope you like ramen.

Then there's Matthew Kolb, donating plasma to pay his bills. This is peak clown world. Working full-time, Army Reserve, and still gotta bleed for the power company. But hey, at least he's “doing his part” to save the planet while the elites jet around in their private planes.

LIHEAP, the federal gibs program, is "flat funded." Translation: they don't give a damn about you. They're too busy sending billions to Ukraine and funding gender studies in Uzbekistan.

Wolfe blames "higher-priced natural gas, rebuilding the grid, data centers." Translation: The grid's a joke, data centers are sucking up all the power for cat videos and AI garbage, and natural gas is being choked by Biden's regulations. All by design, baby.

Delia Anderson from the Economic Opportunity Agency (more like Economic Oppression Agency) says gas and groceries are also up. Everything's up, except your standard of living! Thanks, Democrats!

Thirteen million Americans are gonna get their power shut off. Maybe that's the plan, right? Make everyone miserable, dependent, and begging for the government to save them. It's the perfect scam. Remember the polar vortex, bro? We were promised global cooling...turns out it was just a power grab all along.

Don't fall for it. Stock up on canned goods, learn to live without AC, and tell these power companies to pound sand. Time to unplug from the matrix... or at least get a generator and some solar panels. God bless America and God save the republic. (And maybe buy a few shares of the local plasma donation center… you know, just in case.)