Welp, looks like another one bites the dust! Spirit Airlines, that bastion of woke capitalism, has officially folded after 34 years of fleecing… I mean, serving the flying public. Who could have seen that coming?

They were too busy painting their planes rainbow colors and virtue signaling about inclusivity to actually, you know, run an airline. Turns out, people care more about their flights being on time and their bags not getting lost than they do about corporate virtue signaling.

Let's be honest, Spirit was a dumpster fire even before they went full woke. Remember those fees for everything? Bag fees, seat fees, breathing fees (probably!). It was like flying on a Greyhound bus with wings. But hey, at least they had pronouns in their email signatures, right?

Stephanie Sy (whoever that is) probably has some sob story about how this is all the fault of “systemic inequality” or some other woke buzzword. But let's be real, Spirit's collapse is a classic case of “get woke, go broke.”

Now all those woke frequent flyers are stranded and forced to fly on… gasp… airlines that actually prioritize customer service and profitability. The horror!

But hey, at least they learned a valuable lesson: virtue signaling doesn't pay the bills. Maybe other woke corporations will take note and start focusing on providing actual value to their customers instead of trying to score woke points on Twitter.

This is a victory for the free market, a victory for common sense, and a victory for everyone who's tired of woke corporations trying to tell them how to think. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go celebrate with a nice, non-woke beer.

RIP Spirit Airlines. You won't be missed. Unless, of course, you were counting on that $50 flight to Cancun. In that case… tough luck, snowflake.