RICHMOND, Va. — So, the Savannah Bananas. Remember when they were just a single team of quirky baseball players? Now they're a whole damn league. Six teams! Touring the country! Is this peak Clown World or a genuinely based revolution in sports entertainment? The jury's still out, but the vibes are…interesting.

The Guardian, bless their hearts, reported on these guys back in '23, when they ditched amateur hour for full-on 'bananaball.' Trick plays, antics, crowd work – the whole shebang. They were basically the Harlem Globetrotters of baseball. But now? They’re trying to build their own empire.

Apparently, normies are flocking to see teams like the Firefighters and the Indianapolis Clowns (yikes, branding department needs a history lesson). Meanwhile, the Party Animals are getting turnt in Vegas with the Loco Beach Coconuts. And the Bananas themselves? They're packing stadiums in Texas. More than 100,000 fans showed up. That's a lotta normies consuming the slop.

But let's be real: the branding is sus. The Texas Tailgaters? Cowboy cosplay for suburban dads. The Loco Beach Coconuts? Some Jimmy Buffett fever dream. And the Firefighters? Just a bunch of beefcakes for the Karens. It's like they're trying to appeal to every demographic at once. Hard pass.

Then there's the merch. Hats, koozies, the usual garbage. It's all part of the plan to turn this thing into a full-blown Disney World experience. Because nothing says 'authentic American pastime' like overpriced souvenirs and manufactured fun. They’re not even hiding it anymore.

Remember when going to a ballgame meant watching actual baseball? Now it's all about the spectacle. The trick plays, the gimmicks, the constant pandering to the lowest common denominator. It's like they're afraid people will get bored if they have to watch a regular game. Pathetic.

Look, I'm not saying it's all bad. There's something undeniably amusing about watching grown men make fools of themselves on a baseball field. And maybe, just maybe, this is the future of sports entertainment. Maybe people are tired of the woke nonsense and just want to have some dumb fun. I guess we'll see.

But if the Savannah Bananas end up becoming the next Disney, I'm blaming all of you. Enjoy your koozies and your manufactured fun, you goddamn NPCs.

At least the Indianapolis Clowns have some actual history behind them. Shout out to the Negro Leagues. That’s a based move, not gonna lie. They should lean into that more and ditch the soyboy pandering.