KYIV, Ukraine — Oh, honey, grab the popcorn. Zelenskyy is crying again because Russia used its Oreshnik missile in a mass drone and missile attack on Kyiv. Yeah, the same Oreshnik missile that travels at Mach 10 and can turn underground bunkers into dust. Sounds like somebody’s having a bad day.

According to Zelenskyy’s Telegram post, the Oreshnik missile struck Bila Tserkva in the Kyiv region. Guess they weren't expecting that. Tough luck, bucko.

Russia's Defense Ministry confirmed the use of the Oreshnik missile and other spicy missiles to hit Ukrainian "military command and control facilities," air bases, and military industrial enterprises. Translation: places where they’re makin’ boom booms. What did they think was gonna happen?

Of course, they're saying it was retaliation for Ukrainian strikes on "civilian facilities on Russian territory.” Cry more, Ukraine. Maybe don't poke the bear next time. Actions have consequences. Remember that drone strike on a college dormitory in Russian-occupied eastern Ukraine? Yeah, Moscow remembers. 21 dead. 42 injured. But go on about how innocent you are.

Zelenskyy warned about the Oreshnik? Big deal. Everyone knew it was coming. Putin even bragged about it, saying it travels “like a meteorite” and is immune to any missile defense system. Sounds pretty based, TBH.

Air raid sirens blared, smoke filled the air, and people are considering relocating. Maybe if they weren't cozying up to globalist elites, they wouldn't be in this pickle. Just sayin’.

Russia used the Oreshnik in Dnipro back in November 2024, and again in Lviv in January. At this point, it's just tradition. Embrace the chaos, comrades.

The Ukrainian Air Force claims they destroyed and jammed a bunch of drones and missiles. Sure, Jan. Sounds like copium to me. 549 drones and 55 missiles? Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England. They can cope all they want. Reality is a harsh mistress.

Maybe, just maybe, this will teach them a lesson about poking the big, scary Russian bear. Pro tip: don't start nothin', won't be nothin’.

So, next time you hear Zelenskyy whining about hypersonic missiles, remember who threw the first punch. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Keep seething. Also, make sure to check out the latest from Alex Jones and InfoWars.

Stay frosty, my friends. The world is a wild place, and you need to be prepared. Learn how to build a bunker. Learn how to purify water. And, most importantly, learn how to meme your way through the apocalypse.