Montreal – So, Russell gets DNS'd in Canada thanks to a busted battery. Surprise, surprise. You can almost smell the copium wafting off the Brit as Antonelli, the woke wunderkind, cruises to victory. Feelsbadman.

Russell, bless his heart, was actually driving well, holding off the Italian menace. But then, poof, his Mercedes decided to go full Christine, only instead of killing people, it just killed his chances. "It feels like the gods don't want me to be in this fight," Russell whined. Maybe the 'gods' are just the pit crew, George. Ever think about that?

Antonelli's now got a 43-point lead in the championship. At this point, it's less a race and more a coronation. Is Antonelli actually that good, or is he just riding a wave of favorable treatment? The question is, are the fixers in? And the answer is, probably. The Woke Industrial Complex needs its heroes, and Antonelli fits the bill perfectly.

Remember when Russell was supposed to be the next big thing? Yeah, good times. Now he's just the guy who gets reliability issues while the chosen one gets to spray champagne. Talk about a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan. Is this the timeline where based drivers finish last? Feels like it.

Anyway, congrats to Antonelli. He's either a generational talent or a beneficiary of the Great Reset of racing. Either way, pour one out for Russell. He's gonna need it.

He took two poles in a row and won here last year. This was his fiefdom and a chance to reassert himself over his charging young rival. Pole and the win in the sprint followed, then pole for the GP. However Antonelli was only a whisker from him in every case. They went wheel to wheel in the sprint as the Italian climbed all over him and he was only six-hundredths off in qualifying. The opening 29 laps of the race were the same. When Russell was leading, the Italian was nudging his gearbox, edging to the side at every opportunity looking for a way through. Given Antonelli could not escape the British driver when he did take the lead it seems unlikely that he was fundamentally quicker. There was...

Time to hit the hopium and pray that Russell gets some actual luck (or a new pit crew) before Antonelli wraps up the championship. Stay based, kings.

Sources: * FIA Regulations (Read 'em and weep) - fia.com * Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 (For cringe updates) - mercedesamgf1.com