Doris Fisher, one half of the dynamic duo that gave us the Gap, shuffled off this mortal coil at 94. Back in '69, she and Don saw a need – a gaping hole, you might say – for decent jeans and some groovy tunes. And thus, the Gap was born. Now it's just another corporation peddling woke garbage. Remember when you could just buy some jeans without being lectured about your carbon footprint or systemic racism?

The OG Gap was about simplicity, affordability, and looking halfway decent. It was a time before everything had to be a statement, a virtue signal, or some kind of social justice crusade. You wanted jeans? They had jeans. You wanted a record? They had that too. Simple as.

Now? The Gap's trying to sell you the idea that buying their overpriced threads will somehow save the planet or absolve you of your white guilt. Give me a break. Doris and Don would be rolling in their graves (well, Doris will be soon enough) if they saw what their creation has become.

It's the same story everywhere you look. Companies that used to focus on providing goods and services are now obsessed with pushing leftist propaganda. They're more concerned with appeasing the woke mob than with actually serving their customers. And for what? A pat on the back from some virtue-signaling influencer?

Remember when the Gap was just… the Gap? Now it's another cog in the culture war machine. They’ve gone full Karen. They're lecturing you about microaggressions while simultaneously outsourcing their production to factories that probably violate every labor standard imaginable. The hypocrisy is breathtaking.

So, let's pour one out for the Doris Fisher of yesteryear, the one who helped build a company that actually provided value to people without trying to brainwash them. Let's remember a time when buying clothes wasn't a political act.

The lesson here? Get woke, go broke. Or, in this case, get woke and become a shell of your former self, desperately clinging to relevance while alienating half of your customer base.

And to the Gap: Stick to selling clothes. Stop trying to save the world. You're not fooling anyone. And for the love of God, bring back the classic logo. This newfangled garbage is an abomination.

(In Minecraft, of course.)

Seriously, though, RIP Doris. You built something amazing. It's a shame to see what's become of it. Maybe someone will buy the company and MAGA it up.

The only saving grace? At least she got to see the empire she built. Hopefully the next generation can take a few lessons from the OG days.

And maybe, just maybe, we can get back to a time when buying jeans wasn't an act of political warfare.

At least she didn't live long enough to see AI art become a real thing.