Just when you thought the globalist elite couldn’t get any more embarrassing, the House Oversight Committee drops the transcript from Bill Gates’s closed-door testimony on June 10. The 70-year-old Microsoft pioneer had to sit down with lawmakers and explain why the late, infamous Jeffrey Epstein was literally drafting blackmail schemes against him in his spare time. It turns out Epstein was keeping receipts on Gates’s extramarital adventures with two Russian women, using them as leverage to keep the tech billionaire from escaping his creepy social circle.

According to the transcript released on Tuesday, Gates spent his time under oath trying to play down the situation, claiming, "I was not blackmailed, but you know, as you look at these emails, you know, it looks like Mr Epstein’s brainstorming was going in that direction." Yes, you read that right. Epstein was literally in his draft folder rehearsing how to extort one of the richest men on Earth. Gates admitted that while no direct threats were actually sent to him, the draft emails—which the DOJ dumped back in January—proved Epstein was mapping out the ultimate leverage play.

The timeline here is an absolute masterclass in elite cognitive dissonance. Gates admitted his cozy relationship with Epstein started in 2011. For those keeping track at home, that is three years after Epstein pleaded guilty to soliciting minor hookers in Florida. Gates knew the guy had a major record "of a sexual nature," but apparently, the promise of "billions of dollars for global health" was too shiny to resist. "No, I don’t think I knew – dug into the specifics, although I probably should have," Gates told the committee. Classic NPC dialogue.

Gates’s defense is the ultimate "it was a major mistake" routine, which he first tried out on the Wall Street Journal in late February when he had to publicly cop to the Russian affairs. He claims he was totally oblivious to Epstein’s actual criminal operations and "never victimized anyone" himself. But the fact remains that a guy who wants to micro-manage global health and lecture the plebs on ethics was running around with Russian side-chicks and getting cozy with a registered predator because he thought it would help him raise funds.

The real comedy here is the mental image of Epstein sitting at a computer, drafting extortion emails like a mid-level corporate manager preparing a PowerPoint presentation. The DOJ documents reveal that Epstein was trying to coach people or plan out how to squeeze Gates just as Gates was trying to slowly back out of the room. It’s a perfect snapshot of how the so-called "masters of the universe" are completely compromised by their own basic vices, leaving themselves wide open to the most obvious traps.