Gosport, Hampshire – So, some pilot dunked his Cessna in the English Channel near Lee-on-the-Solent. Big deal. He crawled out, probably dusted himself off, and is now enjoying a pint at the pub. But you just KNOW the pearl-clutching hysterics from the woke crowd are incoming.

Apparently, this happened around 4:15 p.m. on Saturday. The guy, bless his heart, managed to get out of the plane before the fire brigade showed up. Probably had better things to do than wait for government bureaucrats to tell him he was okay.

Witnesses, like some lady named Ellie Chapman, heard a "loud crashing sound." No kidding, Ellie. Planes hitting water tend to make a bit of a racket. She then proceeds to describe the plane going in nose-first, like she's some kind of aviation expert. Spare me.

The usual suspects – Coastguard, lifeboat, air ambulance – all showed up to make sure everything was shipshape. They probably spent more on fuel getting there than the plane was even worth. Gotta love that government efficiency.

Now, I'm just waiting for the inevitable calls to ban all private aviation. You know, because one guy had a whoopsie. It's always the same story: something goes wrong, and suddenly we need to restrict everyone's freedom in the name of “safety.”

These are the same people who think you need a license to braid hair but want to let anyone waltz across the border. Make it make sense.

Let's be honest: flying is inherently risky. You're defying gravity in a metal tube. Stuff happens. But that's the price of freedom. You can't wrap the entire world in bubble wrap just because some people are afraid of their own shadows.

I bet you anything this will be blamed on "climate change". The plane crash wasn't because of a mechanical issue, or pilot error, but the evil global warming that wants to punish us all for living our lives. The same climate change that somehow hasnt flooded Manhattan despite decades of doomsaying from Al Gore. These people are ridiculous.

And you just know the FAA will be sniffing around, looking for any excuse to fine the pilot and make his life miserable. Gotta protect the status quo, right? Who cares if innovation and independent enterprise suffers?

So, here's to the pilot who walked away from a plane crash. May his pint be cold, and his spirit be unbroken. And may the perpetually offended find a new hobby, preferably one that doesn't involve ruining everyone else's fun.