CANBERRA – Well, here we go again. The Aussie government, ever the eager lapdog of Uncle Sam, is gearing up for another round of Middle East shenanigans. The National Security Committee, bless their bureaucratic hearts, convened this morning to figure out how to best virtue signal while the US and Israel stir up a hornet's nest in Iran.

According to Comrade Albanese, Australia "stands with the brave people of Iran in their struggle against oppression." Translation: Australia supports whatever bombing campaign Washington greenlights. Because nothing says "freedom" like a few well-placed Hellfire missiles.

Albo also called Iran a "destabilising force," which, let's be honest, is rich coming from a country that happily participates in the global clown show. But hey, gotta keep those US alliances strong, right? What else are we supposed to do, think for ourselves?

Iran's ballistic missile program? Bad! US military bases surrounding Iran? Totally normal! Supporting armed proxies? Only bad when they do it! The hypocrisy is so thick you could spread it on toast.

Penny Wong, our resident Foreign Affairs Minister (who probably thinks international relations is a synonym for giving free stuff away) is scheduled to blather about it later. Expect the usual platitudes about "international law" and "shared values," while conveniently ignoring the fact that nobody actually gives a damn what Australia thinks.

The whole thing is just one big Kabuki dance. Iran makes vaguely threatening noises, Israel and the US overreact, Australia claps like a trained seal, and the cycle continues. Meanwhile, actual Australians are struggling to afford groceries and fuel, but hey, at least we're sticking it to the Ayatollahs, right?

And don't even get me started on those Iranian attacks on Australian soil. Targeting the Jewish community? Despicable. But let's not pretend that our own government doesn't have a history of shady dealings and questionable alliances. Pot, meet kettle.

The Iranian ambassador got the boot last year, which, again, is mostly symbolic. It's like yelling at a toddler across a crowded room. Does it make you feel better? Sure. Does it actually accomplish anything? Probably not.

So, buckle up, buttercups. Things are about to get spicy. And by spicy, I mean potentially catastrophic. But hey, at least we'll have something to distract us from the impending economic collapse. God bless America! (And Australia, I guess. Whatever.)

Maybe if we send enough strongly worded letters, they'll all just agree to be friends. Until then, expect more virtue signalling, more pointless posturing, and more taxpayer dollars wasted on foreign adventures. Because that's just how we roll down under.

Let's hope someone remembers to keep Vegemite production up during the coming nuclear winter.