BRISTOL, UK – So, a 65-year-old dude named Nicholas Stone kicks the bucket after a run-in with the constabulary at a Bristol protest. Naturally, the perpetually outraged are howling about 'police brutality' and demanding justice. Buckle up, buttercups, because the IOPC (that's the Independent Office for Police Hand-Wringing) is on the case.

Stone, bless his heart, was apparently counter-protesting some group called the 'Bristol Patriots.' (Far-right boogeymen, obviously). The official story is that Stone ran towards Clare Street just as the cops were setting up a cordon. Two brave officers, fearing for their lives (probably), used the minimum force necessary to prevent him from passing. Stone ended up on his back. He later croaked.

Now, the Usual Suspects are already painting this as some kind of state-sponsored assassination. But let's be real: the guy was 65. He was at a protest. Protests are stressful. Maybe his ticker just gave out. But noooo, it must be the cops' fault. Never mind that the police have to deal with these unhinged street theatre productions every other week.

Stone's daughter, Celia (33, lives in Manchester), is predictably traumatized and demanding 'justice.' (Read: a massive payout). She claims her dad was a 'gentle and kind' soul who spent his life fighting for 'human rights.' Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before. Every dead guy is a saint these days, especially if it makes the cops look bad.

The IOPC, after initially trying to punt the investigation to the local cops, has now caved to the woke mob and launched a full-blown independent probe. They'll be poring over every nanosecond of bodycam footage, interviewing every snowflake who was within a mile of the scene, and generally wasting taxpayer money to appease the perpetually aggrieved.

Meanwhile, the 'Bristol Patriots' are probably laughing their asses off. They're getting free publicity, and the cops are getting crucified for doing their jobs. It's a win-win for anyone who enjoys watching the system implode.

Look, I'm not saying the cops are always perfect. But let's not pretend that every time someone dies after interacting with law enforcement, it's a clear-cut case of police brutality. Sometimes, people just die. Sometimes, protests are chaotic. And sometimes, old guys shouldn't be running around at protests.