Washington – Oh, here we go again. The US and Iran are back at the negotiating table, presumably to hash out a new deal where Iran promises not to enrich uranium too much and we promise to… what, exactly? Not notice? This diplomatic Kabuki dance is happening against the backdrop of the US inexplicably sending MORE troops to the region. You know, for 'deterrence.' Because Iran is REALLY scared of the guys who abandoned Afghanistan like a dumpster fire.

Remember the JCPOA? The Iran Deal? That 'historic' agreement that everyone except, you know, actual conservatives, swooned over? Yeah, the one that gave Iran billions in sanctions relief while they politely pinky-promised not to build a nuke? Turns out, surprise surprise, they were still enriching uranium! Who could have possibly foreseen that?

Trump, of course, pulled the plug on that dumpster fire, slapped sanctions back on, and Iran threw a toddler-level tantrum. Now, Biden's desperate to resurrect the zombie corpse of the JCPOA, even though Iran's probably already built a mini-nuke in their basement.

The US military buildup is pure theater. It's like sending a strongly worded email to a guy who's already inside your house stealing your TV. Sure, it might make him think twice before also stealing your cat, but let's be real. It's mostly for show. It's to make the libs feel like Biden's 'tough' and to reassure Bibi Netanyahu that we're not completely insane.

What's REALLY going on here? Nobody knows! Maybe Biden's just trying to distract from the dumpster fire that is the economy. Maybe he actually believes that Iran is going to suddenly become a peace-loving nation of kitty-cat worshippers. Maybe he just really likes the taste of Persian rugs. Whatever the reason, it's probably going to end badly.

The State Department is, predictably, mum on the details. Probably because the details are embarrassing. Probably because the deal involves sending pallets of unmarked bills to Tehran in exchange for… a promise? A stern look? A signed photo of Ayatollah Khamenei?

The IAEA is 'monitoring' Iran's nuclear program, which is like having a blind guy watch a fireworks display. They're relying on Iran to be honest about their activities, which is about as reliable as trusting Hunter Biden with a crack pipe.

The 'analysts' are saying the force buildup is a negotiating tactic. Sure, Jan. It's a negotiating tactic that involves sending our brave men and women into harm's way for a political stunt. It's a negotiating tactic that probably won't work. But hey, at least it looks good on CNN, right?

So, buckle up, buttercups. We're in for another round of the Iranian nuclear waltz. Expect lots of hand-wringing, lots of promises, and probably, eventually, a mushroom cloud somewhere in the Middle East. Because that's just how these things usually go. Good luck, everyone. You'll need it.

Sources:

* U.S. Department of State (for confirming the talks, not for anything useful) * International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) (for providing absolutely useless 'monitoring' reports) * United States Central Command (CENTCOM) (for providing details on the deployment of troops who will accomplish absolutely nothing)