ANNANDALE, Va. – Well, folks, another day, another example of why you should never trust anyone on the 495. A good ol' fashioned road rage incident went full send on Sunday, leaving two fewer NPCs clogging up the arteries of Northern Virginia, plus one less pupper, RIP.

Apparently, some dude decided his daily dose of soy wasn't enough to keep him chill, so he grabbed a knife and went full berserker on I-495 southbound near Little River Turnpike. Four stabbing victims later, the cops showed up and did what they're supposed to do for once: ventilated the suspect. Based.

Let's be real, this whole thing is just a symptom of a larger problem. We're all crammed together in this woke clown world, stressed out of our minds, and stuck in traffic thanks to virtue-signaling politicians who think bike lanes are the answer to everything. Is it any wonder people snap?

Of course, the usual suspects will try to blame this on anything but the real issues. They'll say it's a lack of gun control (even though a KNIFE was used), a lack of mental health resources (because throwing money at problems always works), or even climate change (because everything is climate change now, duh).

But let's be honest, sometimes people are just crazy. And sometimes, the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a knife is a good guy with a gun. Or in this case, a good cop with a gun. Props to the Virginia State Trooper for actually doing their job and taking out the trash.

The snowflakes are probably already triggered, demanding we defund the police and replace them with social workers armed with therapy dogs. But let's be real, would a social worker have stopped this guy? Nah, they'd probably just offer him a participation trophy and tell him his feelings are valid.

So, what's the takeaway here? Avoid the 495 if you can, and if you can't, invest in some serious road rage coping mechanisms. Maybe a stress ball, a punching bag in your car, or just a really loud air horn. And remember, don't trust anyone. Especially not in the left lane.

Anyway, back to doomscrolling. Time to see what other horrors this dystopian hellscape has in store for us today.