Washington D.C. – So, NASA's building a moon base. Again. Because apparently, throwing money into the endless void is cheaper than, say, securing the southern border. These guys get hundreds of millions in contracts handed out like candy to four 'U.S. companies' – probably all woke DEI firms with more pronouns than engineers.

The Artemis program, or whatever they're calling it now, is supposed to be our 'sustainable lunar habitat,' a launching pad to Mars. Sustainable? Last I checked, the moon's a desolate rock orbiting a giant ball of gas. Sounds real sustainable to me. More like sustainable grift, am I right?

Remember the Apollo missions? Good times. Now it's all about 'equity' and 'inclusion' in space. Last I checked, gravity doesn't care about your pronouns. But hey, at least they're creating 'high-skilled jobs'. Bet those high-skilled workers will be needing SNAP benefits by the time this thing's even remotely functional. Or maybe just coding ChatGPT prompts on the lunar surface. The future is now, old man.

These 'contracts' cover everything from habitat design to 'resource extraction'. Resource extraction? You mean like mining moon rocks for...what, exactly? Crypto fuel? Sounds like a recipe for interplanetary regulations and moon taxes. Just what we need. The Feds on the moon.

Historically, lunar exploration was about beating the commies. Now it's about beating the climate and making sure everyone gets a participation trophy, even in zero gravity. Maybe they should focus on, I don't know, not funding terrorists or something? Just a thought.

NASA thinks this moon palace will be 'operational within the next decade.' I give it five years before it's an abandoned crater full of broken solar panels and woke space dust. And they will want more money.

'International cooperation' is the buzzword, of course. Translation: more money funneled to countries that hate us so they can sabotage the whole project. Because, unity. It's not the 1960s anymore, kids. Space is a cold, dark place filled with rocks, and it doesn't care about your feelings or your preferred pronouns.

Funding constraints? They'll print more money. Technological hurdles? They'll blame Trump. Logistical complexities? They'll hire a consultant. All while we're stuck paying for it. Don't forget the 'numerous subcontractors and suppliers' – lining their pockets on your dime.

The real question is: who's getting rich off this? Is it just another way to launder taxpayer money through the military-industrial complex? Wake up, sheeple! These contracts are not just about going to the moon; they're about staying in power.

So, buckle up, buttercups. The moon is calling, and your wallet is answering. Get ready for more taxes, more regulations, and more virtue signaling from our intrepid space cadets. Meanwhile, back on Earth, things are totally under control. No cap.