So, Scholz Jr. – I mean, Merz – is off to China. Yeah, the same China that's building islands in the South China Sea, harvesting organs from political prisoners, and generally acting like a Bond villain's wet dream. But hey, gotta get that sweet, sweet commie cash, right? Because principles are for suckers, and German engineering needs to find a new buyer for all those overpriced electric cars nobody wants.

This whole trip reeks of desperation. The EU is crumbling, Biden's America is more interested in pronouns than power projection, and Germany is stuck trying to play both sides. It's like watching a toddler try to juggle chainsaws – eventually, someone's gonna get hurt, and it's probably gonna be us.

Remember when everyone was screaming about Russia being the big bad wolf? Turns out, China's been quietly eating the whole damn forest. They've got the Belt and Road Initiative turning developing nations into debt slaves, they're buying up strategic resources left and right, and they're flooding the market with cheap garbage that undercuts Western businesses. But sure, let's send our Chancellor over there to bow and scrape. Makes perfect sense.

What's Merz gonna do, lecture Xi on human rights while accepting a suitcase full of unmarked bills? Ask nicely if they could maybe, possibly, perhaps tone down the Uyghur genocide a little bit? I'm sure that'll work. Maybe he can bring along Greta Thunberg to yell at them about coal emissions. That'll really scare the commies straight.

The truth is, Germany is addicted to Chinese money, just like the rest of the West. We sold our manufacturing base, outsourced our jobs, and now we're dependent on a totalitarian regime for cheap goods and lucrative markets. It's like a junkie trying to lecture his dealer about the dangers of heroin.

And let's not forget the conveniently ignored fact that China's probably responsible for unleashing COVID on the world. But hey, never let a little global pandemic get in the way of profits, am I right? Just slap on a virtue-signaling mask and keep the gravy train rolling.

This whole situation is a clown show. We're letting China walk all over us, and our leaders are too busy virtue signaling and lining their pockets to do anything about it. It's time to wake up and realize that China isn't our friend, it's a competitor – a ruthless, authoritarian competitor that wants to dominate the world.

So, buckle up, folks. This trip is either going to be a complete disaster or a masterclass in appeasement. Either way, grab some popcorn, because this is gonna be good… or terrifying. Probably both. Make sure to check back for when Merz inevitably comes back with a new panda plush and a load of excuses as to why it's okay that we sold our souls to the CCP. It's just business, after all. Sad!

In short, Merz's visit to China is less about diplomacy and more about damage control. He's trying to keep the gravy train running while simultaneously pretending that everything is totally fine. But anyone with half a brain can see that the wheels are coming off, and the whole thing is about to crash and burn. Godspeed, Chancellor. You'll need it.

The question isn't if we should decouple, but how. And how soon. Because letting the CCP be our sole provider of electronics and meds is playing checkers when they're playing 5D chess with nukes.