Alright, listen up, snowflakes. Another day, another dodgy report trying to sell us some garbage narrative. This time it's about Manchester, supposedly some kind of thriving utopia thanks to their commie mayor, Andy Burnham and his invented ideology “Manchesterism”. Sounds like Marxism with a Mancunian accent. According to the Centre for Cities, Manchester saw the biggest drop in inner-city deprivation in the UK between 2010 and 2025. Okay, boomer, color me skeptical.

Burham, the frontrunner to boot Keir Starmer out of the Labour leadership, is using this 'success' as his main selling point. He's even running in the Makerfield byelection before he probably tries to shank Starmer. This whole thing smells like a setup, a carefully crafted narrative to propel Burnham to power. Like every politician is gonna pretend they aren't doing a bit of theater before they reach for the crown.

This Centre for Cities report, which probably gets funding from Soros or something, claims a 17-percentage-point drop in deprivation near the city center. Using their fancy 'indices of multiple deprivation' which takes into account things like employment, education, health, and crime. Sounds like a load of subjective BS if you ask me. Especially if you live in the actual damn place, no offense Wigan.

London and Liverpool also apparently saw improvements, but who cares? The real story here is Burnham trying to pull the wool over our eyes. I bet the only thing that really changed in Manchester is they figured out how to hide the homeless better and reclassify rundown buildings as 'mixed-use developments'.

The report says the 'inner city' is defined as being within 1.3km to 4.5km of the city center. So basically, the areas they’re trying to gentrify the hell out of. They conveniently ignore the outlying areas where the real problems probably still fester.

In inner-city Manchester, they admit that 58.4% of neighborhoods still ranked among the most deprived in 2025, down from 75.7% in 2010. So, after 15 years, they only managed to make a dent? Slow clap.

Meanwhile, the report admits that deprivation actually increased in some northern and midlands towns. So much for 'leveling up', eh? I guess Manchester got all the magic fairy dust while the rest of the country rots.

Andrew Carter, the thinktank's chief executive, is predictably calling for more government money and power for metro mayors. Surprise! These people always want more of our hard-earned cash to funnel into their pet projects and line their own pockets.