ANTANANARIVO - So, the Zoomers in Madagascar thought they were gonna usher in a new era of woke utopia by overthrowing the last guy? Turns out, power vacuums get filled by, you guessed it, more power-hungry goons. Color me shocked.

These four 'activists' – Herizo Andriamanantena, Miora Rakotomalala, Dina Randrianarisoa, and Nomena Ratsihorimanana (try saying those names five times fast after a few beers) – got themselves arrested after whining about not having an election date. Apparently, undermining state security and criminal conspiracy are frowned upon, even in a place as laughably corrupt as Madagascar. Their lawyer, Aliarivelo Maromanana, claims they're innocent and there's no evidence. Yeah, and I've got beachfront property in Kansas.

Col. Michael Randrianirina, the dude who took over after the 'Gen Z Madagascar' protests, is now playing the 'separation of powers' card. His spokesperson, Harry Laurent Rahajason, claims the presidency has 'nothing to do' with the police. Suuuure. That's why they call it a deep state, right?

Two of the crybabies got released and went straight to the hospital, claiming illness. Right. Probably just needed a safe space and a participation trophy. The ringleader, Herizo, is still cooling his heels in jail. Maybe he'll learn a thing or two about real-world consequences. Meanwhile, two more brave souls got arrested Wednesday night. The swamp just keeps on swampin'.

Remember when everyone was all excited about ousting Andry Rajoelina? Turns out, replacing him with someone who's buddy-buddy with Russia and packs the government with the same old cronies isn't exactly a winning strategy. Who could have seen that coming? eye roll

Ketakandriana Rafitoson from Transparency International Madagascar is whining about 'fundamental freedoms'. Newsflash: there are no fundamental freedoms. Only temporary lulls between crackdowns. Madagascar is a prime example. It's always been a mess, and it's always going to be a mess. Why? Because people are greedy, corrupt, and generally awful. That's not going to change just because you swap out one set of dictators for another.

Madagascar is a resource-rich island drowning in poverty. Sound familiar? The only difference is that they don't have Twitter to complain about it on (wait, do they?). The lesson here is simple: don't expect anything to change. Governments gonna govern, and people gonna get screwed. That's the way the world works, bucko.