So, the Lord Howe Island virtue signalers finally managed to wipe out all the rats and mice. Pat yourselves on the back, eco-warriors. Turns out, when you nuke an ecosystem, something else just fills the void. Who could have predicted that?

Apparently, now the cockroaches and beetles are throwing a rave. A whole 60% increase, according to some eggheads in lab coats writing for 'Biological Invasions' – probably funded by your tax dollars. Maxim Adams, a researcher, is 'blown away.' I'm blown away by the stupidity of thinking you can just play God with nature and expect everything to be hunky-dory.

Lord Howe Island, some rock in the middle of nowhere, used to be infested with rats and mice. Now it's infested with bugs. Progress! These rodents supposedly ate all the 'native flora and fauna,' because rodents are picky eaters, right? They're basically tiny garbage disposals with a vendetta against biodiversity.

The geniuses who masterminded this ecological clusterf**k spent seven years and untold sums of money to get rid of the rats. Now Ian Hutton, some 'naturalist,' is ecstatic about the stag beetles. Bet he wasn't so happy when the rats were keeping the beetle population in check. See how this works?

They even used 'cockroach hotels' to count the bugs. Seriously? We're funding cockroach condos now? I'm starting a GoFundMe for rat hotels. Fair is fair.

Before the rat apocalypse, these 'scientists' counted all the bugs. Because that's what scientists do: count bugs. Meanwhile, Rome is burning (or at least, California is). Priorities, people.

Apparently, Lord Howe Island has no native mammals, which is probably why the bugs are going nuts. No competition. It's like a cockroach utopia. Maybe we should ship all the politicians there. They'd fit right in.

Adams, the 'researcher,' calls the island 'Jurassic Park.' Probably because he’s never been to a real Jurassic Park. Newsflash: dinosaurs ate bugs. Problem solved.

But hey, at least they got rid of the rats. For now. Give it a few years. Something else will show up and mess everything up again. Circle of life, snowflakes. Circle of life.

Bottom line: nature is gonna nature. Stop trying to control it. Focus on actual problems, like the impending socialist takeover and the fact that Bud Light is now woke. That's a real crisis.