WASHINGTON — Well, well, well... looks like claiming victimhood doesn't shield you from consequences after all. The DOJ, under Trump 2.0, announced they're seeking the ultimate punishment for Elias Rodriguez, the dude accused of ventilating two Israeli embassy employees outside the Capital Jewish Museum last year. Remember him? The guy who allegedly shouted "Free Palestine" after the alleged lead storm?

Turns out, chanting slogans doesn't erase the alleged bullet holes. U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro (yes, THAT Jeanine Pirro) is going for the throat, seeking capital punishment on charges including murder of a foreign official, because, you know, shooting diplomats is generally frowned upon. Who'd have thunk it?

Our glorious leader, President Trump, clearly remembers that Joe Biden thought coddling criminals was a good idea (narrator: it wasn't). Trump wasted no time in reinstating the federal death penalty and making it easier to fry, inject, or, if necessary, yeet the bad guys into the afterlife via firing squad. Now that's what I call progress.

Rodriguez, bless his heart, pleaded not guilty. Probably claims he was framed by the Mossad or something. But the prosecution alleges he had a whole manifesto about how Israel is evil, and even posted "Death to Israel" on social media. Sounds like a perfectly reasonable and well-adjusted individual, right? (Spoiler alert: no).

And get this, he allegedly cased the Capital Jewish Museum before showing up strapped and ready to rumble with 20 shots worth of freedom seeds for two unsuspecting soon-to-be-corpses leaving a networking event. Real classy. After the alleged shooting, he allegedly strolls into the museum, draped in a keffiyeh, declaring, "I did it for Palestine!" Yeah, we get it, dude. Subtle.

Look, the Left will clutch their pearls and whine about how the death penalty is barbaric. They'll scream about systemic racism and how Rodriguez is just a misunderstood victim of Israeli oppression (eye roll emoji). They’ll forget the actual victims. But here’s the truth: some people deserve to be removed from the gene pool. And if you allegedly murder two innocent people in cold blood, chanting political slogans, you've earned yourself a one-way ticket to meet your maker. Maybe he can explain why he thought “Death to Israel” was a reasonable position.

So, let the appeals begin. Let the virtue signaling commence. But at the end of the day, let's hope justice prevails, and Rodriguez gets exactly what he deserves. Maybe they should televise the execution. Ratings would be through the roof.

In the meantime, I'll be over here enjoying my freedom, secure in the knowledge that at least some people still believe in consequences. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go practice my marksmanship. For totally legal and responsible reasons, of course.

Sources: * U.S. Department of Justice Press Releases * FBI Washington Field Office Press Releases