Galveston, TX - So, these eight zoomers get stuck on a rollercoaster in Galveston. Big deal. They got rescued, they're fine, and now the left is screeching about safety regulations. As if a little adrenaline rush is going to kill them. Maybe it'll toughen them up a bit. They need it.

Let's be real, the Iron Shark is a goddamn monument to American ingenuity. It's a steel-and-testosterone middle finger to the woke mob that wants to sanitize everything. A little malfunction? So what? It's called life. Things break. Deal with it.

The libs are probably already drafting legislation to ban rollercoasters altogether. They hate fun. They hate freedom. They hate anything that isn't a soy-based, gluten-free, gender-neutral safe space. Thank God for Ron DeSantis.

And this Terry Turney dude, COO of Pleasure Pier, is spouting corporate boilerplate about safety and inspections. Spare us the woke virtue signaling. The ride malfunctioned, people got scared, nobody died. End of story. Get the damn thing fixed and let's get back to having fun.

These kids need to stop being so soft. They spend their lives glued to their screens, terrified of microaggressions and pronoun mishaps. A little rollercoaster mishap is probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to them. They should be grateful.

The Houston independent school district is "grateful" that everyone is safe. Of course they are. They're always grateful. They're grateful for participation trophies, they're grateful for safe spaces, they're grateful for everything that emasculates and infantilizes the next generation.

Look, accidents happen. It's part of life. You can't bubble-wrap the entire world and protect everyone from every possible risk. That's not freedom, that's tyranny. So, let's stop the pearl-clutching and get back to enjoying the ride. And maybe, just maybe, these kids will learn a valuable lesson about resilience, personal responsibility, and the importance of not being a soyboy.

This whole situation shows why personal responsibility is the answer, and more regulations are never it. When someone gets hurt, it's always time for more regulation. More overreach. More big government. No thanks, pal.

The truth is, regulations don't make things safer. Regulations just make things more expensive, and restrict the freedom of businesses. In this case, it may even lead to the closure of Pleasure Pier, and the loss of jobs for hundreds of Texans. Thanks a lot, lefties.