Okay, so, Lebanon whines that 39 people got turned into shish kabobs thanks to some spicy Israeli air support. Wah, wah, wah. Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it. These aren't Sunday school picnic attendees, folks. We're talking about Hezbollah, the Iranian-backed terrorist group that's been itching for a fight since... well, since forever.

According to the Lebanese Ministry of Feelings (aka the Health Ministry), one strike in Saksakiyeh turned seven into martyrs, including a rugrat. Fifteen others got ouchies, including three more ankle-biters. Oh noes! Here's a thought: maybe don't let your kids hang out with terrorists? Just a suggestion.

Then there's the sob story about the Syrian dude and his 12-year-old daughter. Apparently, they got zapped while cruising on a motorbike. Double tap? Triple tap? Sounds like someone wasn't quite dead enough the first time. Sucks to suck.

Hezbollah, bless their cotton socks, decided to retaliate by sending a drone into northern Israel. The result? Three reservists got boo-boos. One of them got a serious owie. Maybe they should invest in some better drone defense? Just spitballing here.

Remember that time President Trump brokered a “ceasefire”? Yeah, that lasted about as long as a vegan at a barbecue. Hezbollah's been poking the bear, and Israel's doing what any self-respecting nation would do: smacking them back into the Stone Age.

Israel keeps saying they're targeting infrastructure and “people linked to Hezbollah.” I'm pretty sure that covers, like, 90% of southern Lebanon. Tough titty. Maybe they should consider a career change? Like competitive knitting or something.

The Lebanese Ministry of Tears also claims that Israel has offed over 120 people in the past week. They don't distinguish between combatants and civilians, which is convenient. Probably because most of them are combatants, or at least sympathize with them. Collateral damage? Sure. Unfortunate? Maybe. Unexpected? Absolutely not.

Hezbollah launched rockets and drones into Israel. Israel responded by turning Lebanon into a parking lot. Fair trade, if you ask me. They re-entered southern Lebanon in early March and now control 6.2 miles of Lebanese real estate. Consider it a free trial. If they behave, maybe they'll get it back. Maybe.

So, 2,795 dead since March 2, according to the Lebanese Ministry of Woe. Seventeen Israeli soldiers and one civilian dead in southern Lebanon, plus two civilians in northern Israel. I’m not great at math, but that sounds like a win for Israel. Keep it up, Bibi.

Sources:

- IDF Official Twitter Feed (because who needs official reports when you have memes?) - SouthFront (because someone needs to keep tabs on the exploding stuff)