NAIROBI – So, apparently, Festus Omwamba down in Kenya is in a bit of a pickle. Seems the Director of Public Prosecutions office isn't too thrilled with his 'volunteer' recruitment drive, accusing him of human trafficking for allegedly conning folks into fighting for Russia in Ukraine. Now, I'm no expert, but last I checked, that's not exactly a gig you find on LinkedIn. Maybe he should've just stuck to pyramid schemes.

This whole Ukraine thing is getting weirder by the minute. First, it's all about 'defending democracy' (whatever that even means anymore), then it's a proxy war with Russia, and now we've got some dude in Kenya running a freakin' recruitment agency? Makes you wonder who else is cashing in on this dumpster fire. I bet Zelenskyy is laughing all the way to the bank… while asking for more money. Seriously, how much is enough?

Of course, the usual suspects are gonna clutch their pearls about 'human trafficking' and 'exploitation.' Spare me the crocodile tears. These are adults making (presumably) informed decisions. Maybe they thought they could make some quick rubles. Maybe they just wanted a change of scenery. Who are we to judge? Besides, isn't the woke mob always telling us to 'believe all women' and respect everyone's choices? Well, maybe these guys chose to get shelled in a trench. Checkmate, libs.

Speaking of libs, let's not forget who really started this whole mess. Obama's meddling in Ukraine back in 2014 set the stage for everything that's happening now. But hey, let's just blame Putin for everything, right? It's always Russia's fault. Never mind the fact that NATO expansion has been poking the bear for decades. No, no, it's all Putin's fault. facepalm

And where are the American conservatives? Sitting on their hands, as usual. They're so busy fighting culture wars and virtue signaling that they've completely forgotten about actual foreign policy. Weak! They're too busy worrying about pronouns to realize that the world is burning down around them. And the establishment Republicans LOVE that. More grift for the machine.

But back to our Kenyan friend, Festus. I'm guessing he didn't exactly run this operation through the local Rotary Club. Probably involved some shady backroom deals, encrypted Telegram channels, and maybe a few bribes. But hey, that's how the world works, right? It's all about who you know and how much you're willing to pay. The free market baby!

Honestly, I'm half-tempted to start my own recruitment agency. 'Join the Putin Posse: Make Russia Great Again!' Okay, maybe not. But you gotta admit, it's got a certain ring to it. And it's probably a safer bet than investing in crypto these days. Besides, who knows? Maybe fighting for Russia is the new hotness. Maybe Tucker will cover it. And the Kenyan authorities wouldn’t dare touch me.

Look, the world is a messed-up place. People are desperate. Governments are corrupt. And wars are fought for all the wrong reasons. But hey, at least we have memes. And that's all that really matters in the end. #MAGA #PutinDidNothingWrong #BasedKenya