Alright, folks, grab your tin foil hats because the outrage machine is back in action. This time, the target is Kash Patel, who, according to the perpetually offended, is now a villain because he went snorkeling near the USS Arizona Memorial. I repeat: snorkeling. Apparently, the Left believes that a dude taking a dip in the ocean is somehow equivalent to desecrating a national monument. Clown world, amirite?

The AP, bless their hearts, broke the earth-shattering news that Patel participated in a “VIP snorkel” during a layover in Hawaii. The military coordinated the excursion, which took place while Patel was returning from official visits to Australia and New Zealand. The horror! The audacity!

The FBI, in a rare moment of basedness, called out the media for trying to spin a military invitation into some kind of scandalous vacation. A spokesperson pointed out that the DoD “routinely does these engagements with interagency partners,” and that Patel offered similar tours during his time as chief of staff at the DoD. “It’s a historical tour to honor heroes who died on the USS Arizona – not a party,” the spokesperson added. Based.

But let's get real. This isn't about snorkeling. This is about the Left’s never-ending quest to destroy anyone associated with Trump. Patel, who served in the Trump administration, is a prime target. They can't attack him on policy, so they're going after him for... swimming. Peak TDS.

Meanwhile, the geniuses over at the New York Times report that nine other people joined Patel on the tour, and that he swam near the tomb for 30 minutes. Oh, the humanity! Someone get Greta Thunberg on the phone; this is a five-alarm climate disaster!

The Navy, of course, is staying mum on the identities of the other snorkelers. Probably because they're all swamp creatures who've been doing this for years, but nobody cared until it was a Trump guy. Shocker.

The National Park Service is also MIA. Probably drafting a new set of regulations banning all forms of aquatic enjoyment within a 50-mile radius of any historical landmark. You know, for safety.

Meanwhile, marine archaeologists and National Park Service crews are diving at the memorial all the time. But that's different, because they're virtuous government employees, not evil Trump supporters. Double standards? Never!