FLORHAM PARK, N.J. — So, the Jets drafted some guys. Big deal. David Bailey, Kenyon Sadiq, Omar Cooper – names you'll probably forget by week 3 when they're all busy kneeling for the anthem or virtue signaling on Twitter. These are our future gridiron heroes? More like our future social justice warriors.

After a totally embarrassing 2025, the Jets decided the best way to fix things was to bring in three more guys who probably think pronouns are more important than pass blocking. Good job, fellas. That'll really intimidate the Patriots.

Sadiq's already whining about practice being too 'controlled.' Newsflash, cupcake: the NFL isn't your woke college campus. You're not special anymore. Now, go hit somebody.

Cooper's 'shocked' that coaches are vocal and someone's always watching. Welcome to adulthood, son. Get used to it. Maybe try focusing on catching the ball instead of your feelings.

And the playbook? Bailey thinks it's 'about the same as college.' Oh, honey, bless your heart. Just wait until you're facing a Belichick defense. You'll be begging for your participation trophy.

Thirty-six other guys are fighting for a spot on the team, which means these pampered draft picks might actually have to compete for something. Imagine that.

Sadiq says he’s bad with names. Maybe spend less time signaling your virtue and more time learning the names of the guys you’re supposed to be blocking for, genius.

Apparently, they’re all gonna have to ‘step up’ now that they’re not the biggest fish in the little pond anymore. Translation: reality is about to hit them like a linebacker on a rookie quarterback.

I’m sure they’re all very nice young men. But nice doesn’t win football games. Grittiness, toughness, and a refusal to back down – those win games. And right now, these guys look like they’d rather take a knee than take a hit.

The Jets are hoping these guys will turn things around. I’m hoping they’ll stop embarrassing themselves and focus on playing football. But hey, at least they'll be woke while they lose.

Wake me up when they actually start winning games. Until then, I'll be over here, praying for the good old days when football players were tough and didn’t care about anything except kicking ass on the field.

So, here’s to another season of mediocrity, brought to you by the New York Jets and their dedication to all things woke. Somebody get me a beer.