Just when you thought elite academia couldn't get any more detached from reality, the progressive pearl-clutching brigade has found a way to ruin America's upcoming 250th birthday party. In a hilarious display of textbook Trump Derangement Syndrome, Princeton University professor Eddie Glaude Jr. joined host Kai Wright on the “Stateside with Kai and Carter” podcast to complain about how the American project has basically failed because of, you guessed it, systemic racism and Donald Trump.

Glaude is out here promoting his new book, “America, USA: How Race Shadows the Nation's Anniversaries,” which is essentially a 300-page grievance manual arguing that the entire concept of America is just a white supremacist fantasy. According to our esteemed Ivy League guide, the mere existence of Black people is a constant glitch in the matrix for anyone who loves this country. It’s the classic academic grift: take a historic milestone that should bring people together and turn it into a lecture about how bad you should feel for enjoying fireworks.

Naturally, the conversation devolved into a standard-issue rant about the Trump administration. Glaude and Wright lamented that Trump is normalizing white supremacist rhetoric and trying to whitewash history. Apparently, teaching kids to actually like their country instead of loathing it is now considered white supremacy by the Princeton faculty lounge. The sheer desperation to cast every patriotic sentiment as a dog whistle is as exhausting as it is predictable.

But the absolute peak comedy of the interview came when they started crying about Trump desecrating the Lincoln Memorial. They claimed the administration is ruining this “civic sacred ground” by standing near it and holding events there. Imagine being so triggered by a politician using a public monument that you declare the entire space spiritually contaminated. It’s a level of drama usually reserved for theater majors, not tenured Ivy League professors.

Glaude went on to deliver the ultimate black-pill take, declaring that we are witnessing the end of the America that made our lives possible. It’s the classic narrative shift: when progressives aren't in total control of the cultural institutions, they claim the country is ending. In reality, the only thing ending is the monopoly that academic elites have had on historical narratives, and they are absolutely terrified of losing their grip.

Historically, these elite meltdowns are nothing new. Every time a major national milestone comes up, the academic class uses it as an opportunity to moralize and lecture the working class about their supposed sins. During the 1976 Bicentennial, the same crowd of leftist intellectuals tried to rain on the parade, and the American public ignored them then, just like they will ignore them now.