So, Iran announced the end of its 88-day internet blackout? Yeah, and I'm expecting my Nigerian prince inheritance any day now. Turns out, surprise surprise, the mullahs were lying through their teeth. Internet monitors are saying there's been no actual change. Color me shocked.

Remember when that clown President Masoud Pezeshkian campaigned on “internet freedom”? Looks like that promise went straight into the same shredder as all the other empty promises politicians make. He probably thought he could sneak it past the Supreme Leader, but those guys are tighter than a drum.

Communications Minister Sattar Hashemi is whining about the “economic damage” from the blackout. Oh, boo-hoo. Maybe if they weren’t busy funding terror groups and building nukes, they wouldn’t have to worry about the price of chicken. They're acting like they're victims here. Spare me.

And of course, the usual suspects in the regime are blaming Western media for inciting protests. Classic. It's always someone else's fault when the people get fed up with their medieval garbage. These are the same folks who think Twitter is a CIA plot to sell them Starbucks Frappuccinos.

Amnesty International’s wagging their finger about the regime executing 36 people on “politically motivated charges”? Look, no one’s condoning state-sponsored murder, but let’s be real: these are the same people who want to flood the West with open borders. They only care when it fits their agenda.

Five million jobs in Iran supposedly depend on the internet? That’s rough, buddy. But maybe those people should have learned a skill that doesn’t rely on Zuck's empire. And yeah, the Ministry of Labor is denying job losses. Of course they are. They're about as trustworthy as a CNN poll.

Tehran Electronics Association is crying about losing access to WhatsApp, Telegram, and Instagram. Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of their actions. Maybe don't rely on American tech giants to run your business, genius. The whole thing is a clown show. The Iranian regime is a joke, a dangerous, genocidal joke, but a joke nonetheless. They can't even manage to end an internet blackout without screwing it up. Sad!

So yeah, the internet blackout continues. Don't expect any real change anytime soon. The mullahs are too busy lining their pockets and oppressing their own people to care about silly things like “internet freedom.” Stay skeptical, folks. And buy Bitcoin.