Alright, chuds, let's cut the crap. The Iran War's got heating oil prices looking like a Bitcoin chart from 2021, and guess who's getting the shaft? Small businesses in the UK, especially those poor sods stuck in the countryside.

See, while the latte-sipping elites in London virtue-signal about windmills and unicorn farts powering the future, actual businesses – the ones that, ya know, provide jobs and keep the lights on – are burning kerosene like it's the last days of Rome. Turns out, 7% of ALL UK SMEs, and a whopping 17% of rural ones, are hooked on this black gold just to keep warm.

Some bloke named Anthony Jenkins, who runs a hotel in North Yorkshire (probably a decent chap, unlike most of Parliament), is getting bent over a barrel by his heating oil supplier. His price DOUBLED. He's begging his guests to turn down the radiator like they're living in Soviet Russia. This is what 'green' policies have wrought, folks.

The Federation of Small Businesses (FSB) – bless their hearts – is whining to the "competition watchdog." As if THAT'S gonna solve anything. Regulatory capture is real, and those watchdogs are usually lapdogs for the big corporations. The real solution? Drill, baby, drill. Unleash domestic energy production and tell Iran to pound sand.

But noooo, gotta virtue signal! Gotta appease Greta! Now small businesses are rationing fuel like it's the Blitz. Remember when politicians told us green energy would be cheaper? LMAO. This is why nobody trusts the establishment anymore.

Tina McKenzie from the FSB is worried about dodgy energy brokers. Yeah, no kidding. When there's blood in the water, the sharks come out to play. Small businesses are sitting ducks, and the government's too busy patting itself on the back for hitting 'climate goals' to notice.

Meanwhile, jet fuel prices are higher than Hunter Biden on a Tuesday. Makes you think, doesn't it? Follow the money, chuds. Someone's getting rich off this crisis, and it ain't the small business owner in North Yorkshire.

So, what's the takeaway? Green policies are a scam. Energy independence is non-negotiable. And small businesses are always the first to get screwed when global chaos hits the fan. Time to stock up on firewood and tell the politicians where they can stick their 'climate targets.'

They fixed the energy contract after the conflict started? LOL, it's like closing the barn door after the horses have bolted. No foresight. No competence. Just the usual clown show.