So, get this. BBC Verify (who?) dropped a report saying Iran's been turning our military bases in the Middle East into Swiss cheese. Like, 20 bases smacked since the start of… whatever this is even called. And the White House is all, “Nah, our woke military is totally owning, bro.”

Iran's Supreme Leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, is out here flexing, saying the Middle East ain't a safe space for American bases anymore. I mean, he’s kinda got a point. We're spending trillions to get dunked on by dudes with… well, apparently, pretty accurate missiles. The Pentagon's saying they've hit 13,000 targets in Iran as part of “Operation Epic Fury.” Epic fail, more like. Is this what winning looks like? Asking for a friend.

Of course, when asked about the BBC report, some random Defense official said, “Operational security reasons,” which is code for “We’re totally screwed, but we can’t admit it.” And get this: the US asked Planet (a satellite company) to stop showing pictures of Iran and the Middle East. Transparency? Nah. More like trying to hide the dumpster fire we call foreign policy.

They hit our THAAD missile batteries. You know, the ones that cost a BILLION dollars each? We only have eight of those things. They need 100 troops to operate. $12.7 million per missile. So, the libs want to ban assault weapons, but these missiles cost more than a bazillion AR-15s. Vice-Admiral Mark Mellett (from Ireland) says these batteries are a big deal. Ya think?

Then there's the refuelling and surveillance aircraft at Prince Sultan Airbase in Saudi Arabia. Apparently, they're smoking craters now. One of them was an E-3 Sentry, which costs around $700 million to replace. And don’t even get me started on Ali Al Salem Airbase and Camp Arifjan in Kuwait. Fuel bunkers? Gone. Aircraft hangars? Kaboom. Troop accommodations? Say goodbye to your barracks, soldiers! Camp Arifjan’s satcom hardware is toast. Meaning: someone just lost their Wifi. The horror!

The Pentagon figures “Operation Epic Fury” cost about $29 billion. Mostly for “repair or replacement costs.” So, we’re basically funding Iran’s missile program with our own incompetence. Maybe it's time to stop exporting democracy and start importing some competence. Just spitballing here.