Okay, so the Mullahs are probably gonna Mullah, and the Biden admin is sleepwalking into WWIII. What does that mean for you, based American citizen? Buckle up, buttercup, because your dollar is about to buy a whole lot less.

Iran flexing in the Strait of Hormuz is like watching a toddler play with a grenade. It's only a matter of time before something explodes, and when it does, say goodbye to cheap gas. That strategic choke point is where most of the world's oil ships through, and if things get spicy, that oil ain't flowing.

What happens when the oil stops flowing? Gas prices go to the moon. And guess what, everything you buy gets shipped by truck, train, or plane, all powered by… you guessed it, oil. So, expect to pay more for everything, from your tendies at Mickey D's to that sweet new AR-15 you've been eyeing.

Of course, the geniuses in Washington will blame “Putin’s price hike” or “greedy corporations,” but don't fall for it. This is about decades of feckless foreign policy and a president who looks like he's perpetually lost his dentures. They’re playing checkers while Iran is playing 4D chess.

Remember when Trump actually made them scared? Those were the days. Now, they see weakness, and weakness invites aggression. Get ready for a new round of “mostly peaceful protests” as people struggle to afford basic necessities. Maybe they'll loot a few more Targets while they're at it.

And don't even get me started on the potential for cyberattacks. Iran's hackers aren't exactly top-tier, but they can still cause some serious chaos. Expect power outages, bank glitches, and maybe even a compromised voting machine or two (just kidding… mostly).

So, what can you do? Stock up on ammo, canned goods, and maybe a bicycle. And pray that someone in Washington wakes up before it’s too late. This isn't just about gas prices; it's about the future of the American economy and our way of life.

Also, start learning Farsi, just in case. You know, for when the Ayatollah tweets out the new world order. Or maybe just to understand the instructions on your new gas rationing card.

We are so effed. But hey, at least we have pronouns!

Joe Biden promised to unite the country, and he did! Now, everyone’s uniting to criticize him. Thanks, Joe.

So remember folks, buy gold, silver, and lead! And lots of ammo.

Welcome to the Thunderdome. Brought to you by Joe Biden and the feckless fools in Washington D.C.