So, India dropped $26 billion – that's BILLION, with a 'B', folks – on fancy-schmancy metro trains. And guess what? Nobody's riding them. Color me shocked.

Turns out, these shiny new subways are emptier than Biden's schedule after 3 PM. The Mumbai Aqua Line, for example, is so deserted it's practically a Cold War museum exhibit. One poor sap at the ticket booth actually admitted it's 'too expensive.' You don't say!

Some eggheads over at the Indian Institute of Technology Delhi (bet that cost a fortune too) discovered that these metro systems are only hitting about 25-35% of their projected ridership. I'm no rocket scientist, but that sounds like a massive facepalm. The Observer Research Foundation (ORF) chimed in, pointing out that in some backwater towns, ridership is hovering around 2%. Two percent! You could get better attendance at a Liz Warren campaign rally.

But hey, at least Delhi's doing great, right? Wrong. Some 'experts' are whispering that their numbers are juiced because they're counting transfers as separate trips. Classic accounting shenanigans, folks. It's like claiming you lost 10 pounds by weighing yourself before and after taking a dump.

The problem? Well, according to Ashish Verma, some 'expert' at the Sustainable Transportation Lab, these projections are based on 'offered capacity' – basically, how many people could ride if they were all sardines packed in a can. Reality? Not so much. And the prices are too damn high.

What's the solution? Lower the prices? Nah, that would make too much sense. Instead, let's double down on virtue signaling and build more useless infrastructure. After all, it's not our money, right?

This whole thing is a monument to government waste and bureaucratic incompetence. It's like building a high-speed rail line to Buttfuck, Nebraska and then wondering why nobody's using it. The only thing missing is AOC crying about it on Instagram. The only thing missing is AOC crying about it on Instagram.

Maybe they should convert these empty metro cars into homeless shelters. Or mobile voting booths. Or better yet, giant hamster wheels for politicians to power the grid. The possibilities are endless, as long as we don't expect anyone to actually use them as intended. At least this boondoggle is good for memes!