So, Caroline Marland, some old broad who used to run the ads at the Guardian, finally shuffled off this mortal coil at the ripe old age of 80. Apparently, she was a 'trailblazer' or some such nonsense, being the first woman to hawk ads on Fleet Street. Big whoop. Did she fix the supply chain? Did she stop the gender nonsense? Did she do anything that actually matters?

The Guardian, bless their cotton socks, is making a huge deal out of it. Claiming she 'revolutionized' the classified ad market. Yeah, because selling jobs listings is exactly like storming Normandy, right? Get a grip.

She figured out, groundbreaking stuff here, that Telegraph readers were too old for the jobs being advertised. So, she created new sections in the Grauniad to attract a younger audience. Genius! Someone give this woman a Nobel Prize… oh wait, she's dead. Never mind.

And get this, she was married to a Tory MP. The irony is so thick you could spread it on toast. Imagine the dinner table conversations. 'Honey, I'm selling ad space to socialist teachers unions.' 'That's nice dear, I'm voting to cut their funding.'

Apparently, she was also a great mentor, launching the careers of other corporate climbers. You know, the kind of people who make sure the trains run on time… right into the social justice abyss. Thanks, Caroline!

Look, I'm sure she was a lovely lady. But let's not pretend she was some kind of revolutionary. She sold ads. In the grand scheme of things, it's slightly above selling used cars, but not by much.

So, raise a glass to Caroline Marland. May she rest in peace, or whatever. Just don't expect me to shed a tear for another Guardian executive. There's too much real work to do saving the country from itself.

Maybe now that she's gone, they can finally focus on printing articles that don't make me want to vomit. Probably not, though. RIP, or whatever.

Sources:

* The Guardian: (For the basic facts, even though they're probably lying). * Companies House: (To confirm she actually worked there). * Wikipedia: (Because, why not?). * My Brain: (The only source you can trust).