Grampa Bernie's Socialist Army: Still at It, Apparently
The dude who wants to give everyone free stuff endorses a bunch of no-names – color me shocked.
So, Bernie Sanders, the guy who's been promising free ponies to everyone since 2016, has decided to endorse like, a whole bunch of state and local candidates. Five dozen, to be exact. I'm assuming they all promised to implement Medicare for All in their local dog parks or something. Basically, it's the same old song and dance: more free stuff, paid for by you, the productive member of society.
These are the same folks who were probably rocking 'Feel the Bern' shirts back in the day, before they realized that free stuff isn't actually free. Somebody has to pay for it, and guess who that somebody is? You guessed it: the taxpayer. So, congrats to these candidates, you've got the socialist seal of approval. Now go raise taxes and bankrupt your local municipality.
Seriously, does anyone actually believe this stuff anymore? It's the same tired playbook: promise the world, deliver nothing but debt and dependency. But hey, at least Bernie's staying relevant. Gotta keep that gravy train rolling somehow, right? I mean, how else is he gonna afford his third house?
It's like watching a rerun of a show you've seen a million times. You know how it ends: badly. But hey, at least it's entertaining. You gotta give Bernie credit, he's committed to the bit. Even if that bit is destroying the economy. Maybe he's just prepping for the apocalypse. You know, the one where we're all eating bugs and living in pods. Thanks, Bernie.
I'm just waiting for the inevitable tweet from AOC praising Bernie's 'bold leadership' and 'visionary policies.' You know it's coming. It's like clockwork. They're all just puppets in the socialist theater, dancing to the tune of free stuff and woke nonsense. Wake me up when it's over.
So, yeah, Bernie endorsed some people. Big deal. It's not like it's going to change anything. The only thing that's going to change is the amount of money in your wallet. And not in a good way. So, buckle up, buttercups. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. And don't forget to thank Bernie for the free stuff... that you're paying for.
And let's be real: these are probably all the types who want to rename Columbus Day and ban plastic straws. Real, pressing issues facing America. But hey, at least they're fighting the good fight. The fight against capitalism, freedom, and common sense. It's truly the stuff of legends. So put on your masks, take the vaccine, shut up, and keep paying your taxes. And maybe, just maybe, Bernie will give you a free pony. Eventually.
Sources:
* Government Accountability Office (gao.gov) * Congressional Research Service (crs.gov)