ANCHORAGE, Alaska — So, four aspiring mountain goats ate it on Mount McKinley, or Denali, or whatever the libs are calling it this week. The National Park Service, bless their hearts, is now playing babysitter to these adventurous souls. Let's be honest, shoulda stayed home and virtue-signaled on Twitter.

Newsflash: Mountains are tall. Climbing is hard. Maybe try a nice, safe yoga retreat in Sedona instead? Just a thought. But no, gotta conquer the tallest peak in North America to prove...what exactly? That you can afford expensive gear and ignore common sense?

The NPS says these four were part of a seven-member team. Three braver souls hightailed it back to High Camp. Probably the smart move. Let's hope they packed extra rations, because rescuing these clowns ain't gonna be quick.

The Weather Service says it was snowing. Shocking! Also, windy. Double shocking! Maybe check the forecast before you strap on your crampons, geniuses.

Speaking of names, Trump was right to change it back to Mount McKinley. Denali? Sounds like a brand of organic granola. This is America, dammit. We name mountains after presidents, not crunchy granola.

Of course, the Park Service isn't saying anything. Probably too busy filling out paperwork and dealing with the inevitable lawsuits. Someone's gonna blame someone for something, you can bet on it. It's the American way!

Here's a wild idea: How about we charge these folks for the rescue? You wanna risk your life climbing a mountain, fine. But don't expect the taxpayers to foot the bill when you screw up. Personal responsibility, remember that?

Honestly, this whole thing is a perfect metaphor for the state of the country. A bunch of entitled elites thinking they're tougher than they are, expecting everyone else to clean up their messes. Sad!

Maybe this will be a teachable moment. Maybe it won't. Either way, the mountain remains. And it's probably laughing its ass off.

So, to the climbers: Get well soon. And maybe consider a less…vertical…hobby. To the rescuers: Godspeed. You're the real heroes. And to the rest of us: Let's hope this doesn't become an annual event. We've got better things to spend our money on.

At least the woke virtue signalers didn't change the mountain's name. Yet. Give them time.

Honestly, though. Thoughts and prayers. May their GoFundMe hit its goal. And may this entire debacle serve as a reminder: don't be a dumbass in the mountains.