Another one bites the dust. Valie Export, the Austrian performance artist who made a career out of triggering normies with her 'feminist' art, is dead at 85. Guess the outrage machine finally ran out of gas. Remember "Tap and Touch Cinema"? Yeah, the one where she turned her chest into a peep show and called it a statement. Peak cringe, but hey, at least it got her attention.

Born Waltraud Lehner, she pulled a classic lib move and rebranded herself with a cigarette brand. Valie Export. How edgy. She was all about stickin' it to the patriarchy, mostly by making everyone uncomfortable. Mission accomplished, I guess?

She hung out with the Viennese Actionists, which is basically a fancy way of saying 'a bunch of people who liked to do weird stuff for attention.' They were the original social media influencers, just without the filters and the sponsored content. Think performance art is dumb? You're not alone. Most normal people just want to grill, not get yelled at about gender politics.

Her piece at the Venice Biennale was a beaut: a giant fake uterus with neon lights and a Catholic mass playing on a TV where the head should be. Because nothing says 'subtle social commentary' like a giant uterus mocking the Church. Gotta hand it to her, she knew how to push buttons. But was it good art? That's debatable. More like performance art for performance art's sake. Doing it for the plot, I guess.

Let's be honest, most of her 'art' was just a way to get a rise out of people. And it worked! She got headlines, she got attention, and she got to feel like she was changing the world. Meanwhile, the rest of us were just trying to live our lives in peace. She got arrested for her troubles, too! Co-editing a book on Viennese Actionist art got her nailed on pornography charges. Cry more, lady.

Her gallerist, Thaddaeus Ropac, is mourning the loss of “one of the most visionary feminist artists to emerge in Europe in the second half of the 20th century.” Visionary? Maybe. Annoying? Definitely. Influential? Sadly, yes. Buckle up boys, cause there's probably a woke art school student trying to replicate this performance art crap right now.

So, farewell, Valie Export. You were weird, you were provocative, and you were definitely not boring. But maybe now we can all get back to enjoying art that doesn't involve genital exposure and lectures on gender studies. Or just grillin'.