BOGOTA, Colombia – So, remember that 'historic' peace deal in Colombia? Yeah, about that... Seems like the feel-good kumbaya moment didn't exactly stick. Turns out, when you let hardened criminals off the hook, they tend to, you know, keep criming.

At least 52 commies are fertilizer now thanks to some good ol' fashioned infighting between rival FARC factions in Guaviare, the heartland of blow production. Apparently, sharing is not caring when it comes to controlling the coke trade. Who could have possibly predicted this outcome? (Spoiler alert: anyone with a functioning brain).

We've got Iván 'Mordisco' Vera and 'Calarcá Córdoba' Diaz Mendoza going at it like two meth-addled badgers in a trash can. Both rejected the peace deal, because, shocker, they prefer money and power to, uh, not being shot at. They made a choice.

The Colombian Defense Minister, Pedro Sánchez, bless his heart, is sending in the troops. Because that always solves everything, right? More like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. The real solution? Napalm the coca fields and let Darwin sort it out.

The Diaz Mendoza crew is allegedly 'in peace talks' with the government. Translation: they're extorting concessions while simultaneously running their criminal empire. It's like negotiating with the mafia, only with more Che Guevara t-shirts.

And get this, the Central General Staff, the biggest FARC splinter group, announced a 'temporary' ceasefire against the government. But don't worry, they're still totally cool with murdering each other. Priorities, people!

Meanwhile, the ELN, another charming group of rebels, also announced a ceasefire before the elections. Because nothing says 'democracy' like armed groups dictating the terms of the political process.

Colombia's been fighting this drug-fueled insurgency for six decades, racking up 450,000 dead and millions displaced. And the geniuses in charge thought a 'peace deal' with unrepentant terrorists was the answer. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

The 2016 peace agreement was basically a participation trophy for terrorists. It rewarded bad behavior and incentivized further violence. It's the equivalent of giving a serial killer a hug and expecting them to stop killing people. Just delusional.

What's the solution? Simple: unleash the Colombian military, cut off the drug money, and stop pandering to these violent thugs. But hey, what do I know? I'm just a guy on the internet yelling at clouds. Sipping lib tears.