Alright, so the Eurocrats over in Brussels, the same folks who brought you bendy bananas and dieselgate, are now clutching their pearls over checks notes Israeli settlers in the West Bank. Apparently, building homes on land someone else wants is a no-no, and the EU is gonna do something about it. That something? Sanctions! Oooooh, scary.

Sanctions, you say? Against settlers? Not Hamas firing rockets into Tel Aviv? Not the PA paying terrorists a salary? Nah, those are just fine. But a dude building a porch? That’s where they draw the line. It's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see if it pays off.

So, what are these sanctions gonna do? Probably nothing. Maybe make it slightly harder for a few guys to get a loan. Maybe. Meanwhile, the EU is still buying Israeli tech, still partnering on security initiatives, and still pretending to be a relevant geopolitical player.

This is basically virtue signaling on a continental scale. The EU gets to pat itself on the back for being so morally superior, while simultaneously doing absolutely nothing to address the actual problems in the region. It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb and calling it a success.

And let's be real, who even takes the EU seriously anymore? They can't control their own borders, their economy is a mess, and their foreign policy is dictated by whoever screams the loudest. They’re basically the kid in high school who tries to be cool by telling everyone what to do, but nobody listens.

So, yeah, the EU sanctioned some Israeli settlers. Wake me up when they sanction Iran for funding terrorism or China for running concentration camps. Until then, I’ll just be over here laughing at their pathetic attempts to stay relevant.

Remember when Europe was a continent of empires and innovation? Now they are obsessed with regulating the amount of water in your toilet. Sad!

Frankly, it all sounds like another plot point in the never-ending saga of “how to make Israel the bad guy.” They could cure cancer and the EU would sanction them for putting oncologists out of work.

Anyway, back to doomscrolling. Remember to hydrate.

Sources:

* European Union External Action (for the lulz) * The Babylon Bee (because they’re more accurate than Reuters) * My own brain (highly reliable)