Alright, so the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) – basically, the UK's woke version of our Department of Justice – has finally noticed that maybe, just maybe, telling everyone to live their entire lives online might have some…unintended consequences. Apparently, stalking is up. Shocker.

Their big plan? A four-year “action plan” to teach the youth what stalking is. You know, the same youth who think reality is whatever their favorite influencer tells them. Good luck with that.

The CPS is all worried that these delicate snowflakes might not realize they're being stalked. Or, even worse, that they might be the stalkers! Heaven forbid little Timmy gets a stern talking-to for DM'ing his crush 500 times a day. The horror!

Olivia Rose, some CPS head honcho, whines about kids having too much access to friends and strangers online. As if that's a new thing. The internet's been around longer than half these kids have been alive. Maybe instead of virtue signaling, the CPS should focus on…I don't know…actual crime?

Then there's Lisa, the victim they trot out for sob stories. Ex-boyfriend stalks her after a 20-year relationship, sets up fake dating profiles, the whole nine yards. Tragic, sure, but hardly a new phenomenon. People have been crazy since the dawn of time. The internet just makes it easier to be a creep.

Here's the truth nobody wants to admit: a lot of this “stalking” stuff is just…awkwardness. Unwanted attention. Socially inept nerds misreading signals. Is it ideal? No. Is it a crime worthy of government intervention? Debatable.

The real problem isn't the internet; it's the breakdown of traditional values. Kids aren't taught respect, boundaries, or consequences. They're raised on participation trophies and told they're special snowflakes who deserve everything. Then they're shocked when the real world bites them in the ass.

So, yeah, the CPS can launch all the “action plans” they want. It won't fix the fundamental problems: weak families, a broken education system, and a culture that celebrates victimhood over responsibility.

And let's be honest, most of this will just end up being another excuse for the government to snoop on our online activity. Because nothing says “protecting freedom” like government surveillance, am I right?