Hollywood - So, Conan O'Brien is hosting the Oscars next year. The Academy, bless their hearts, thinks this is some kind of genius move to resurrect their ratings from the dead. Newsflash, Hollywood elites: Nobody under 40 watches your virtue-signaling circle jerk anymore. Social media buzz? Yeah, mostly people dunking on your terrible fashion choices and insufferable acceptance speeches.

Let's be real, the Oscars are basically the Super Bowl halftime show of wokeness. Every year, it's the same formula: A parade of celebrities lecturing us about climate change while flying in private jets, virtue-signaling about social justice while living in gated communities, and generally proving how out-of-touch they are with the rest of America. And now they think Conan O'Brien, a guy who hasn't been relevant since the '90s, is going to fix it? LOL.

The Academy is desperately trying to stay relevant by pandering to the Twitter mob, but all they're doing is alienating their remaining viewers. They've turned the Oscars into a political rally instead of a celebration of cinematic achievement. Remember when the Oscars were about movies? Yeah, me neither. Now it's all about identity politics and woke agendas.

Conan O'Brien, bless his heart, is probably just happy to have a job. But let's be honest, his brand of humor is about as edgy as a marshmallow. He's not going to say anything that offends the Hollywood elite, because he doesn't want to get blacklisted. So, expect another night of predictable jokes and predictable virtue-signaling.

The Academy is so out of touch, they probably think people still watch network television. They're living in a bubble, completely disconnected from the real world. They don't understand that most people are too busy trying to make ends meet to care about what celebrities think. They should be focusing on celebrating great movies and entertaining the audience, not pushing their political agendas.

The Oscars are dying a slow, painful death, and the Academy is too blind to see it. They're so obsessed with being woke that they've forgotten how to entertain people. And hiring Conan O'Brien isn't going to change that. It's just another desperate attempt to stay relevant, and it's going to fail miserably.

So, grab your popcorn and get ready for another night of cringeworthy moments and predictable lectures. The Oscars are back, and they're more woke than ever. But hey, at least the memes will be good. Maybe the Babylon Bee will have some material to work with after this disaster.

And let's not forget the real victims here: the hard-working Americans who actually make movies. The grips, the gaffers, the editors, the costume designers – they’re the ones who deserve recognition. But instead, they get overshadowed by preening celebrities and their woke agendas. It's a disgrace.

I give the 99th Academy Awards a 0/10. Would not recommend. Unless you're into watching rich people pat themselves on the back while lecturing you about your carbon footprint. In that case, enjoy the show! And remember, don't trust anything Hollywood tells you. They're all lying.

The Academy is hoping that O'Brien will turn things around. They hope that his popularity will engage the audiences. They are going to be sorely disappointed.

I'll be watching from my couch, probably making fun of it on Twitter. Join me!

In conclusion, Conan O'Brien will be hosting the oscars. This will result in more wokeness, and more terrible ratings.