So, here's the deal, folks. The New York Times, those paragons of truth and virtue (eye roll), found a cartel gold mine practically in the Colombian military's backyard. Like, close enough to hear the pickaxes swinging. And the officers are all, 'We didn't see anything!' Sure, Jan. It's like finding a meth lab in Nancy Pelosi's basement and her saying she thought it was a yoga studio. Wake up, sheeple! This is peak clown world. We're told the military is there to, you know, PROTECT the country, but apparently, they're either blind, incompetent, or, dare I say it, complicit. Maybe they're getting a cut? Follow the money, am I right? This whole situation is so absurd it's almost comical. The 'War on Drugs' is a multi-billion dollar joke. We're throwing money down a rat hole while cartels are literally digging gold mines next to military bases. And the environmental impact? Who cares! (Sarcasm, obviously.) The woke left is probably ecstatic though, because now they can blame capitalism for literally everything. So what’s the solution? I don’t know, nuke Colombia? Build a wall around the whole damn country? Something has to be done. The establishment will probably just form another committee, write a strongly worded letter, and call it a day. Meanwhile, the cartels will be laughing all the way to the bank. This is fine.