Coles Gets Spanked for 'Down Down' Shenanigans: Is This Peak Clown World?
Aussie supermarket gets slapped by the kangaroo court for slightly fudging the 'discount' deets – cue the outrage!
MELBOURNE – So, Coles, the land down under's answer to Walmart, just got reamed by the ACCC for their so-called 'Down Down' discount campaign. Apparently, inflating prices for a hot minute before slapping a 'discount' label on it is a no-no. Who knew?
Justice Michael O'Bryan, probably a woke soyboy in a black robe, delivered the verdict. Coles is in the doghouse for not being upfront about how long those 'was' prices were actually around. Like anyone actually reads the fine print anyway.
The ACCC, those heroes of the bureaucratic class, accused Coles and Woolworths of duping shoppers. Seriously? People still fall for that garbage? Maybe it's time to unplug grandma from the internet and stop her from buying that 'miracle' cure on Facebook.
The whole thing boils down to 'was/is' pricing. Coles would jack up the price of some Vegemite for, like, a month, then slap a 'Down Down' sticker on it, making you think you're getting a steal. Except, surprise, it was probably cheaper before they pulled that stunt. The horror!
During the trial, Coles basically admitted they were playing games with the pricing. But hey, it's capitalism, baby! Everyone's trying to squeeze a little extra shekel out of you. At least they're not selling you NFTs of cartoon apes (yet).
O'Bryan, bless his heart, agreed that the price hikes were 'ordinary commercial' practices. But apparently, lying about them is a bridge too far. This is what happens when you let lawyers and bureaucrats run the show. Next thing you know, they'll be regulating sunshine.
If you actually thought Coles was being honest about their discounts, you're beyond help. But hey, at least now you have a reason to rage against the machine (or, you know, just complain about it on Twitter).
The real question is, will this actually change anything? Probably not. Coles will pay a fine, tweak their marketing, and keep raking in the dough. Meanwhile, you'll still be paying $8 for an avocado. Welcome to Clown World.
So, the next time you see a 'Down Down' sticker, just remember: everything is a lie. Trust no one. Especially not supermarket chains. And definitely not the government. Buy Bitcoin.
