Alright, folks, buckle up, because the apocalypse is already here, and it's driving an 18-wheeler. Apparently, our geniuses in charge have decided that the best way to handle the supply chain crisis is to let anyone with a pulse – and a forged ID – hop behind the wheel of a semi. Mike Kucharski, co-owner and vice president of JKC Trucking, is blowing the whistle on this madness. He says unqualified, under-trained truckers, many of whom are illegal immigrants who can't even read the signs, are turning our highways into demolition derbies. “This is just madness,” he says. Ya think?

So, Texas AG Ken Paxton is finally doing something useful and cracking down on sham CDL schools that are churning out these road hazards faster than you can say “jackknife.” Apparently, these schools are allergic to English comprehension and actual training, which is just fantastic. And U.S. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy is pretending to care by issuing a few sternly worded letters (aka “notices of removal”) to these diploma mills. Great job, guys, really earning those taxpayer bucks.

Then there’s the horror stories. Modou Ngom, a semi-truck driver who allegedly killed a whole family in a fiery crash, apparently obtained his license and U.S. citizenship through the magic of fraud. And let’s not forget Bekzhan Beishekeev and Rajinder Kumar, two more examples of why maybe, just maybe, we should be a little more careful about who we let operate heavy machinery on our roads.

So, what’s the solution? Build the wall around the CDL schools? Require drivers to pass a basic IQ test? Honestly, at this point, anything would be an improvement. Until then, keep your eyes peeled, your prayers whispered, and your dashcam rolling. Because on these highways, it’s every man for himself. And remember, folks, you’re not stuck in traffic, you ARE the traffic... being driven by someone who probably doesn't know what lane they're in. Buckle up, chuds!

And remember, it's not racist if it's true. These are the facts, Jack.