You truly cannot make this stuff up. Newly released police bodycam footage has revealed that Vickrum Digwa, the 23-year-old sentenced to life for stabbing 18-year-old student Henry Nowak five times, tried to beat a literal murder charge by immediately crying racism. In a masterclass of absolute audacity, Digwa spun a wild yarn about a hate crime while his teenage victim was literally bleeding to death on the pavement in handcuffs.

When Southampton police rolled up to the scene in December last year, they found Nowak dying from five stab wounds. Naturally, their first instinct—thanks to Digwa’s instant victimhood claim—was to handcuff the dying student. Meanwhile, Digwa was left completely unrestrained, calmly asking officers if they could turn off their flashing lights because they were hurting his eyes. The officers, terrified of violating the sensitive narrative, happily complied.

Digwa’s story was a textbook attempt to exploit modern identity politics. He claimed Nowak was "obviously drunk," had knocked off his turban, and dragged him by his hair. To add more weight to the drama, his father, Moga Singh, chimed in to tell police that his son was the actual victim of an assault. Digwa even claimed Nowak used a racial slur, complaining that he’d faced similar "racial attacks" his whole life in the area.

But the real comedy—if you can call it that—comes from the police reaction. When Digwa complained about being racially attacked, the responding officer practically apologized, repeating, "I know, I know, I know." When the officer finally had to arrest Digwa for attempted murder, he practically begged for his forgiveness, saying, "I'm not saying you've done anything, mate," and reassuring him that they just needed to hear "his side of the story."

Meanwhile, Digwa’s explanation for Nowak’s fatal wounds was a total joke. When asked why the student was covered in blood, Digwa casually suggested, "It must have been when we punched him," or that the kid simply "fell over" while parkouring on some garbage bins and landing on a car. Yes, because five deep stab wounds are a classic symptom of falling off a wheelie bin.

Fortunately, the court wasn’t buying the clown show. Sentencing judge William Mousley KC called out the absolute nonsense, stating he was certain Nowak had said absolutely nothing racist and that the entire story was a complete fabrication at odds with the victim’s character. Digwa was handed life with a minimum of 20 years, but the damage was already done—the killing had already sparked massive riots across Southampton.