Alright, folks, gather 'round, because the Camp Mystic saga just took another turn, and it's about as predictable as a CNN headline these days. Seems the Texas camp, where that unfortunate flood happened last year, decided to pull the plug on reopening. Why? Oh, because the perpetually aggrieved parents, fueled by trial lawyers and the woke mob, wouldn't let it rest. Never let a tragedy go to waste, right?

So, the camp's all like, "Oh, we don't want to cause any more harm," blah, blah, blah. Translation: We don't want to get sued into oblivion. They even had the audacity to say they were withdrawing their application "rather than risk defending our rights under Texas law." Rights? In this day and age? Good luck with that, pal. The only rights that matter are the ones that align with the current narrative.

Remember, this was a private Christian camp, founded back in the roaring '20s. You know, back when people had some grit and didn't run crying to the government every time something bad happened. Now, it's just another casualty in the culture war.

And of course, the ambulance chasers are circling like vultures. Sam Taylor, some lawyer repping the families, is all, "We're grateful no other Texas family will hand their daughter over to Camp Mystic this summer." Translation: Ka-ching! More billable hours for yours truly. He's got to keep his kids in private school somehow.

But hold on, Liberty Lindley, one of the parents whose kid SURVIVED, actually had the audacity to say that confronting the experience could be empowering. Empowering! Imagine that. Taking responsibility for your own damn life instead of blaming everyone else. She must be a registered Republican.

Governor Abbott chimed in, because of course he did. He's got to look like he's doing something. But let's be real, this is just another example of the government sticking its nose where it doesn't belong. This whole thing is a mess, plain and simple.

Look, nobody is saying those kids deserved to die. It was a tragedy, plain and simple. But instead of letting grief run roughshod over common sense, maybe we should consider a return to personal responsibility. Build the camp higher, fix the emergency plans. Adapt, overcome, improvise, and all that. But no, we gotta shut it all down because feelings.

Meanwhile, you know damn well that if this camp was some woke, eco-friendly, gender-neutral retreat, they'd be getting government grants and glowing profiles in the New York Times. Double standards much?

The lesson here is clear: in the age of outrage, no institution, no tradition, no memory is safe. So, buckle up, buttercups. The woke mob is coming for your summer camp, your statues, and eventually, your very way of life. And they won't stop until everything that makes America great is erased. Deplatformed. Canceled. And replaced with… well, you know. More feelings.

Time to stock up on ammo, both literally and figuratively. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Drain the swamp. And maybe build a few levees while we're at it.