SACRAMENTO, CA - So, California, land of woke policies and tech bros, has finally decided to do something about the robot apocalypse… by giving it a ticket. The Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), bless their bureaucratic hearts, has announced new regulations to fine the companies behind driverless cars when their metal minions break traffic laws. Finally, some accountability for the AI uprising!

Apparently, it took until 2024 for California to realize that if a driverless car runs a red light, someone’s gotta pay. The new rules, effective July 1st, will allow cops to issue a “notice of AV noncompliance” directly to the car's manufacturer. Because, you know, Skynet LLC isn't gonna respond to a handwritten note.

The DMV is patting itself on the back, calling these regulations 'the most comprehensive AV regulations in the nation.' Translation: they're finally catching up to the Jetsons. It only took a few robotaxis blocking fire trucks and causing general mayhem during a blackout for them to get their act together.

So how will this work? Police can now cite AV companies for moving violations. But here’s the kicker: the companies have to respond to calls from police and other emergency officials within 30 seconds. Thirty seconds! That's like, three entire TikToks in AI time! Penalties will be issued if the robocars enter active emergency zones, because apparently, even robots aren't immune to a good ol' fashioned California wildfire.

DMV Director Steve Gordon, probably wearing a necktie ironically, said, 'California continues to lead the nation in the development and adoption of AV technology, and these updated regulations further demonstrate the state's commitment to public safety.' Yeah, public safety after the robots take over. Progress!

Waymo and Tesla, the usual suspects in this silicon circus, are now in the DMV’s crosshairs. Waymo's robotaxis have been cruising around the Bay Area and Los Angeles, while Tesla is busy testing its, uh, interesting self-driving features. The BBC has reached out for comment. Probably to hear some carefully worded PR spin about how these regulations are 'exciting opportunities for growth'.

Remember that time in San Bruno when a Waymo AV made an illegal U-turn? The cops couldn't issue a ticket because there was no actual person to give it to. Now they can just send the bill to Google. And who knows, maybe they can pay in Google Bucks.

And who could forget the San Francisco blackout, when a swarm of Waymo vehicles decided to hold an impromptu gridlock party? Or the fire department complaining about robotaxis playing bumper cars with emergency vehicles? These regulations are a direct result of that chaos, folks. Welcome to the future!

Sources: * California Department of Motor Vehicles * San Francisco Fire Department Incident Reports