Orange County, California – brace yourselves, libs. Looks like another “unprecedented” crisis is unfolding, this time in the form of a chemical tank that's about to achieve critical mass in Garden Grove. Gavin Newsom, ever the drama queen, has declared a state of emergency, which basically means he gets to toss taxpayer dollars at the problem while patting himself on the back.

Apparently, this tank, owned by GKN Aerospace (whoever THEY are), is filled with methyl methacrylate – sounds scary, right? It's basically plastic juice, and it's threatening to either explode or leak all over the parking lot. Forty thousand Californians are being told to pack their soy lattes and evacuate. Hopefully, they have their pronouns sorted out before fleeing.

Newsom, in a carefully crafted statement designed to make him look like a hero, assures everyone that the “safety of Orange County residents is the top priority.” Translation: he needs good press. He's “mobilizing every state resource available.” Translation: he's racking up the credit card on our dime.

Firefighters are hosing down the tank. Because that's what firefighters DO. But get this – it's not working. They even sent in a HAZMAT team to mess with another tank nearby, but things are still heating up, literally. Apparently, the temperature is rising one degree per hour. It's like watching a slow-motion disaster movie directed by Michael Bay.

Orange County Fire Authority Division Chief Craig Covey, bless his heart, says they're trying “out of the box” strategies. Let's hope that box includes a call to Elon Musk or someone who actually knows what they're doing. Covey also says “Letting this thing just fail and blow up is unacceptable to us.” No kidding, Sherlock. That's generally how explosions are viewed.

So, what’s the lesson here? Besides the fact that California continues to be a magnet for taxpayer-funded disasters? Probably that some government regulation that was meant to protect everybody probably caused all this in the first place. The only ones getting rich off this mess are the lawyers and consultants that will take years to sort through all the mess.

Remember when things were built sturdy and lasted? Now this. So grab your popcorn, folks, and watch as California's latest manufactured crisis unfolds. And remember to thank Gavin Newsom for his leadership. With your tax dollars, of course. California, land of fruits, nuts, and exploding chemical tanks.