Alright, listen up, snowflakes. Our boy Nigel 'Based' Farage, the man who made Brexit happen and sent the EU into a perpetual state of triggered tears, is raking in the dough. Two million quid since becoming an MP? You love to see it. The Guardian is clutching their pearls like they just saw a MAGA hat at a vegan bake sale.

'Oh no, he's selling Cameos for 70 quid! The horror!' Yeah, he's hustling, and you're not. Cry more. Dude's got speeches, he's slinging gold bullion (smart move, btw, inflation is a B), and he's writing. What's he supposed to do, live in a cardboard box and apologize for winning?

And let's not forget the sweet EU pension he's about to collect. 73 grand a year from the very institution he spent his career dismantling? That's what I call poetic justice. He's basically getting paid to troll the EU from beyond the grave. Based doesn't even begin to cover it.

Five million from Christopher Harborne for 'security'? Yeah, right. We all know it's for funding the Based Department and keeping the woke mobs at bay. Every time he's out he's got a crew of security guys. You know it's real when you see the all-black SUVs with the windows tinted like the soul of a progressive.

They're whining about his travel, his tickets to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, his trip to Davos. He’s living the high life while they are still stuck in their moms' basements. He’s playing the game better than they ever could, and it's driving them absolutely insane. Good.

Four properties? He’s out here playing Monopoly, and the Left are still trying to figure out how to spell “property rights.” He’s got a house in Kent, two coastal homes on the Kent coast purchased through his company, Thorn in the Side. Meanwhile, they are trying to cancel Dr. Seuss.

Twenty-two hours a week on 'additional employment'? He’s not just an MP, he’s a brand. He’s a force of nature. He’s the walking, talking embodiment of everything they hate, and he's making bank doing it.

So, to all the perpetually offended soy boys and gender studies majors out there: Cope. Seethe. Mald. Nigel Farage is living his best life, and he doesn't care what you think. He's too busy counting his money and owning the libs. And honestly, who can blame him?