So, the live-in lackey of our dearly departed Chandler Bing just got slapped with a 41-month vacation courtesy of the justice system. Looks like someone decided to play real-life GTA after Matthew Perry checked out, and surprise surprise, it turns out there are consequences. Who could have seen that coming? (Narrator: Everyone).

Another one bites the dust! Remember when everyone was clutching their pearls about Perry's 'struggles'? Turns out, maybe the real struggle was this guy thought he could get away with whatever after the big guy kicked the bucket. Now he's got three years and change to contemplate his life choices. Maybe he can write a tell-all in prison. I'd buy it. Assuming it was written on toilet paper.

The lamestream media is probably already spinning this as some kind of 'systemic' issue. Nah. This is just a guy who made bad choices and is now paying the price. Period. No participation trophies here. It's called accountability, libs. Look it up.

Meanwhile, the woke are undoubtedly trying to connect this to...I don't know...toxic masculinity? The patriarchy? I'm sure they'll find a way. They always do. It's like a reflex at this point. Anything bad happens = Trump's fault.

But let's be real, this is just another reminder that being a celebrity assistant isn't all glitz and glamor. Sometimes it involves, ya know, not breaking the law. Who knew? Guess he forgot to read the fine print in his employment contract: 'Do not commit felonies. See addendum A'.

And let's be honest, 41 months is probably a vacation compared to what Perry put this guy through. Just kidding! (Mostly). He probably had to fetch coffee and dry cleaning. The horror!

It's Always Sunny in Prison, pal. Enjoy the free meals and questionable company.

I'm just saying, maybe this dude should have taken some acting lessons from Matthew Perry. Could've convinced the judge he was just misunderstood. #JusticeForAssistants #NotReally

The real question is, who inherits the Basset Hound?

Anyways, let this be a lesson to all you aspiring celebrity assistants out there: Don't do crimes. It's bad for your health.