Tacoma, WA – So, another school, another stabbing. Six people injured at Foss High School in Washington. Five students, one rent-a-cop. All in “stable condition,” which probably means they’re pumping 'em full of fentanyl and hoping they don’t sue.

Apparently, it was an “altercation.” You know, like when your girlfriend “has a headache.” Translation: Someone got shanked. The perp? A student. Because who needs books when you can have a blade, amirite?

Shelbie Boyd, the Tacoma PD mouthpiece, says they booked the kid on five counts of first-degree assault. Five counts? Sounds like someone was playing Fruit Ninja in real life. Bet he gets off with probation and “sensitivity training.” Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck paying for it.

Remember when schools were about learning? Now they’re just glorified daycare centers with metal detectors. And don’t even get me started on the “counselors” they’re bringing in on Monday. Translation: More virtue signaling and useless feel-good sessions that accomplish absolutely nothing.

Foss High School, by the way, has a history. Some dude got capped there back in '07. Guess they didn’t learn their lesson. Maybe they should try teaching kids some actual consequences instead of coddling them.

But hey, let’s not talk about the breakdown of societal norms, the erosion of personal responsibility, or the complete and utter failure of our education system. No, let’s just blame it on video games or “systemic racism” or whatever the talking heads are pushing this week. They probably just need more pronouns or something. That’ll fix it.

Honestly, at this point, I’m half-expecting to find out this whole thing was a deepfake orchestrated by George Soros and the lizard people. Or maybe it’s just another psyop designed to distract us from the fact that the government is printing money faster than Zimbabwe. Either way, don’t believe anything you hear. Do your own research.

And for God’s sake, teach your kids some self-defense. Because relying on the government to protect you is like relying on CNN for the truth – you’re gonna be sorely disappointed. Meanwhile, I’m stocking up on tinfoil and waiting for the apocalypse. You should too.

Remember when kids used to trade Pokemon cards, not stab each other? Yeah, me neither. Sad!

And remember, no matter what the news says, always ask yourself: Cui bono? Who benefits from this narrative? Because trust me, it's not you.