Alright, folks, gather 'round for another dose of reality. Sixteen young women, fried crispy in a school fire over in Kenya. Utumishi Girls school in Gilgil, to be precise. That's about 77 miles west of Nairobi, for those of you who can't Google.

What happened? Well, apparently, a fire. In a boarding school. At night. While the kids were sleeping. Groundbreaking stuff, I know. The Kenyan Red Cross and police are on the scene, probably tweeting about it and hashtagging #PrayForKenya or some other performative virtue signaling. The cops are 'investigating,' which is cop-speak for 'we have no clue but we'll pretend to do something.'

And get this: "Fires are not uncommon in Kenyan boarding schools." You don't say! It's almost like neglecting basic safety standards has consequences. Who knew? Maybe they should try thoughts and prayers next time – that always works, right?

Police commander Masoud Mwinyi (catchy name) said it's a "sad and saddening situation." You think? Maybe try installing some goddamn fire alarms and sprinklers instead of offering empty platitudes. Just a thought.

But hey, let's not get too upset. After all, it's just sixteen kids. Probably some intersectional victims of colonialism or something. Maybe they voted for [insert opposition leader here]. Who cares? (Sarcasm, people. Sarcasm.)

Seriously though, this is beyond pathetic. This isn't some freak accident; it's a systemic failure. It is what happens when you prioritize woke ideology over basic safety. And let's be honest, are we even surprised? This is the kind of crap that happens when you prioritize everything else over security. Probably because the adults in charge are too busy pushing CRT and other woke bullcrap to care about the details.

So, what's the solution? Well, for starters, how about enforcing some goddamn safety regulations? Maybe invest in some fire-retardant materials? And for God's sake, teach kids how to react in an emergency. Basic stuff, really.

But let's be real. This is Kenya. They'll probably just blame it on climate change or white supremacy and then ask for more foreign aid. And we, the gullible Westerners, will dutifully cough up the cash, which will promptly disappear into some corrupt politician's offshore bank account. Circle of life, innit?

So, next time you hear about some tragic event in a far-off land, remember Utumishi Girls school. Remember the sixteen kids who died because someone, somewhere, didn't give a damn. And remember that thoughts and prayers are no substitute for actual action. Unless you are praying for us to defund the school boards pushing these dangerous ideas in the first place. In that case, thoughts and prayers are exactly what we need.